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The Short Version: The quarter-life crisis is a real phenomenon, but it’s less understood than a mid-life crisis. So many women find themselves confused and unfulfilled with life in their early 20s, and they need support they often can’t get from friends. Millennial women can receive the guidance they need to move forward in their careers, relationships, and lives through Blush, an online coaching group. Blush helps women establish goals and provides them with the healthy encouragement they women need to find their paths.
I remember my quarter-life crisis, although I don’t think the term existed at the time. At age 25, I was working a great job as an environmental reporter at a newspaper in South Florida, in a stable relationship, and living less than 10 minutes from an uncrowded beach. I owned a house with a swimming pool, a car that didn’t break down frequently, and had two cats. I even had a large group of friends. But, still, I was unhappy.
So, what was the problem?
I felt like I wasn’t fully living my life — and that was hard to express to others. On paper, my life was fantastic, but, in my heart, I knew things needed to change. I was growing up and beginning to understand that the decisions I was making didn’t define who I was.
I followed my heart, and, within two years, I had left my relationship, sold my house, quit my job, and started making new friends.
Now that I’m on the other side of that period of my life, I can look back and smile. I now work for myself, travel the world with only what fits on my back, and enjoy the healthiest dating experiences of my life. I feel great, and I genuinely love myself. When I was in my early 20s, that seemed like a long way away.
I’m certainly not the only one who has experienced a quarter-life crisis, but the problem is that most women don’t know where to turn when doubt begins to creep into the choices they make in life. You could turn to a therapist, but sometimes it’s difficult to find one who’s affordable and — most importantly — relatable.
Blush is an online coaching community designed to help millennial women find trained professionals who can offer practical guidance to work through their emotions with trained professionals.
“I realized that the stigma is alive and well, especially for young women. People tell them they just need to ‘rub some dirt on it’ to be successful,” said Kali Rogers, the Founder of Blush. “But when I started this, I was only 23 myself, and my friends were seeking therapy for failed engagements, sexual trauma, or uncomfortable relationships with their families.”
Kali decided to do something about it.
When Kali was in her early 20s, she was working as a bartender while pursuing her master’s degree in counseling. She heard all kinds of stories from patrons and began noticing a trend among young women who were landing great jobs right out of school, were getting paid well, but were working a massive number of hours with no time for a social life.
“I just saw a lot of stress. Breakdowns were happening at the bar,” she said.
When she moved to California, she realized that most millennial women needed coaching that they could take with them – online. She started to put together a group of diverse, professional coaches to form valuable relationships with clients around the country.
“I could break down the stigma, I could make counseling affordable, and make it available online. So it wouldn’t matter if a girl had to move to New York after graduation, she could keep a coach,” Kali said. “It was made for the middle group. Not women with intense psychological needs, but those women who had everyday issues, but didn’t feel like they had anyone they could talk to about them.”
Kali’s group of coaches initially comprised women she respected who attended her grad school. But, as the diversity of her clients grew, so did her coaching team.
“I would watch what types of clients would sign up, and I could see the kinds of needs they had,” she said. “For example, we had some moms sign up. And you don’t have to be a mom to help a mom, but I thought it’d be nice to have someone on the site who could relate to the troubles they’re facing. So, we added Samantha.”
Clients can choose which coach they feel is the most relatable. There’s Danielle, who is spiritual and into wellness and health, and Brittaney, who is intuitive and has a lot of clients who need that kind of guidance.
“That’s how I curated the coaching business, by meeting the needs of the clients who signed up,” Kali said. “For example, wellness has become a huge topic, and one of our coaches, Monroe, has an active certification in holistic health. She’s perfect for those clients. I see the needs, and I seek out coaches to meet them.”
Clients can work with Blush coaches in a variety of settings, which is ideal because every woman’s situation is unique.
Clients can purchase credits that they can use for one-on-one video sessions with coaches or to write and submit journal entries to their coach who responds within 48 hours. One credit is good for one journal entry that can be as long as a client wants, and two credits pay for a 30-minute, one-on-one video session with a coach. Packages range from four to 16 credits per month, but you can also pay as you go.
“When stuff happens, and you need to talk to your coach, you can write a journal and put everything in words at 2 a.m.,” Kali said. “Your coach will read and respond to the journal. The average response rate is the same day.
Clients often take advantage of private video sessions that are 30 minutes or an hour long, and coaches maximize every minute of a video session to cover as many issues as possible, Kali said.
Many clients have been with Blush since its founding, and have created lasting friendships — because the clients are often similar to their coaches. While that has been rewarding for Kali, she is working to expand her reach to even more people.
Kali has published a book, rebranded the Blush website, and has started doing more corporate consulting work — all of which she expects will expand Blush’s impact.
“My favorite moments in Blush, by far, are when I’m stopping the sessions to say, ‘Ok, I want you to think about where you were on this day last year,'” Kali said. “And we crawl back, ‘You were dating this guy and at this place, and how do you feel?’ She’ll say, ‘I was so stuck, I was so upset and miserable and felt like nothing will work.’ And now, she’ll say, ‘It’s night and day.’”
While she knows that part of the healing process happens naturally, Kali knows that Blush helps women realize the power they have to change their own lives.
“People are way more capable than they give themselves credit for, and it’s so fun to be part of their success stories,” she said. “Blush can play an important role, and that’s just amazing.”