Reader Question:
A few weeks back things finally started to launch with my crush. His birthday came along and I wanted to really show him I liked him, so I bought him a Fossil watch, gift cards to his favorite stores and cookies that spelled out his name. He was very grateful and we continued texting. I casually said, “You know I don’t do this for just anyone…so I hope by now you know that I really like you because I can’t get any more obvious than this.”
He didn’t reply. So I waited a few days and text him, “Hey! Sorry if I scared you the other day. I can be a bit overwhelming and forward. Haha!” And he’s still ignoring me. I thought guys didn’t like girls who played games, so I was direct and just went for it!
What do I do now?
-Tanya (Tennessee)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Tanya,
I know your pain and confusion. When i was in high school, I bribed a girlfriend whose dad who worked at a radio station to score me coveted tickets to Bruce Springsteen. I wasn’t even a Springsteen fan, but the guy I had a crush on was.
Well, we went to the concert, the one I paid dearly for, and basically, I never heard from my crush again. I was mortified!
This is what I learned: Guys don’t like girls who play games but, I’m sorry to tell you, no one wants something that appears to be so easy. Your intentions were pure, honest and sweet. But in showing your cards so early in the dating game, you gave the impression you are too available.
No one of either gender wants to eat McDonald’s fast food (even if it comes with a cute cup with your name on it) if they can work a little harder and have a slow-cooked steak dinner.
I wish I could tell you this is fixable, but it’s probably one of those painful lessons we all have to learn.
Please know this: Your kindness and generosity shows you will be a great girlfriend – to someone – and now you’ll know to wait until he’s chasing hard.
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