Reader Question:
Now that we have had sex, he has totally withdrawn. He only texts occasionally. I really liked this guy.
Is there any chance of reconnecting with him? If so, how?
-Amy (Ohio)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Ooooh, Amy. I wish I could say something you want to hear, but the best I can do is tell you what you need to hear.
Men don’t fall in love through sex. They fall in love through trust. Having sex, as you’ve seen, didn’t bring him closer and it may have driven him away.
If he’s a player, that’s almost certain. Research shows that the more sexual partners a man has had, the more likely he is to perceive diminished attractiveness in each new conquest.
Your only slight chance of connecting with him is to fall off his radar and see if he wonders where you went. But I highly doubt you can turn a sexual relationship into an emotional one after such a rupture.
My suggestion: Move on and be wiser and slower next time.
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