His Friends Keep Pulling Us Apart. Should I Be Worried?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

This guy and I have liked each other for about two and a half years now, but his friends keep pulling us apart. I’m scared he will soon lose his feelings for me. I’ve tried everything, but his friends have a strong control over him.

Should I be worried the guy I love might move on and like another girl that his friends approve of? What can I do to get him to express his feelings for me without his friends’ control on him?

-Lisa (Texas)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Lisa,

Here’s the bad news: We really can’t control anyone else. We can only control our own behavior and see how people respond to that.

I’m a little skeptical that the opinions of his friends mean more to him than the opinion of his own heart. He must be very young.

As for what you can do about your behavior, you can embody what men like, that is, good health and honesty. Men fall in love through trust, not sex. And women who try to use sexual attractiveness to get a guy might get sex but not necessarily love.

And part of being honest is learning how to confidently express your feelings. I suggest you explain to this guy you think he’s kinda cool but you have misgivings about the friends he runs with.

Tell him you think they are unfair and judgmental about you. And then see what he says. Your strategy here is to appear smart, aware and not afraid to express tour feelings.

You never know. This may be the conversation that gives you a private connection with him, away from his friends.

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