How Long Should it Take for Men to Know They Want to Be Exclusive?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

How long when you’re dating someone should it take for them to know if they want to make it an exclusive relationship?

-Blanca R. (Rhode Island)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Sounds like you know you’re ready for exclusivity before your man is. Join the club, girlfriend. Most women are ready before their boyfriend is. It’s not about the length of time, as much as the level of life integration, trust and intimacy.

  • Have you met each other’s family?
  • Have you met all of his friends?
  • Are you talking nearly daily?
  • Are you having sex?

If you answered yes to all of these questions and you don’t have a verbal commitment, you are exposing your eggs, your bloodstream and your heart to a high-risk, low-criteria relationship. Get definition or back way off.

If, on the other hand, you’ve made the mistake of moving too fast and it seems silly to be asking for a commitment after only a month or two of dating, then the problem isn’t his lack of commitment. The problem is the false intimacy you’ve created too early.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.