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Dr. Wendy Walsh
Your biology is ancient. Your Prius and Jimmy Choos may be new, but they cart around a biological control panel that’s designed for your survival.
And choosing a healthy mate increases the chances you will live a long life and your offspring will survive, too.
Our cavewoman ancestors felt romantic love, but they also practiced rational love as a survival strategy.
In fact, choosing a long-term mate based on romantic love is a relatively new trend as a widespread concept.
Our female ancestors chose good hunters in times of famine, good investors (remember fire and the wheel?) during fruitful times, great protectors during warring times and great artists and caregivers when they excelled at hunting.
If Grandma was youngish and sisters aplenty, women had more children. When a good brother offered protection to her offspring, our gatherers may have risked venturing farther afield.
When the environment became harsh, producing few calories or poising treacherous weather, women quietly crossed their legs until conditions improved.
In today’s environment where women are rising in economic power (more women are educated and are in the American workforce), women are putting sex out in high supply.
No need to get one hunter to sign on the dotted line and support them and their offspring in a contract called marriage.
“When you hesitate to have sex, that’s
your cavewoman talking to you.”
Parenting is best played as a team sport and many women, ignoring marriage, are still wired to bond. Sadly, men don’t bond through sex.
And when sex is in high supply, men are less likely to commit. Why buy the cow when you can text in a herd any night of the week?
Choosing a mate will directly impact your health, your wealth and the success of your children. That’s why you inherited cavewoman mating caution.
When you feel an age-old ache in your stomach after you’ve had sex with a guy who still hasn’t called you back, that’s your cavewoman talking to you.
When you hesitate to have sex with a man who is saying all the right things, yet your gut feeling tells you to slow down, that’s your cavewoman talking to you.
When you hook up with a date early on because you are a little drunk and feeling adventurous, that’s you silencing your cavewoman.
Paying attention to your long-term goals in a relationship and really understanding your needs will help you make better choices.
Your cavewoman wisdom is alive and well within you. You must bring her on dates with you and let her help you move away from connections that are harmful.
Ladies, have you ever ignored your cavewoman instincts? I’d love to hear your stories.
Photo source: imageshack.us.