I’m Nervous to Talk to Him. What Do We Talk About?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:
I just started dating one of my friend’s boyfriends. I haven’t really talked to him in person before we started dating, but I have been going to school. I am too nervous to talk to him, so I try to avoid him as much as I can. But I want to start talking to him more and actually spend time with him.
But I don’t know what to talk about? And I don’t know how to be affectionate with him in front of people?
-Miranda (Missouri)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Miranda, you sound like you are part of the text generation who begin “dating” via text and then find it hard to stumble into the world of real communication. You may have even said sensitive things in texts that you feel a bit embarrassed to say out loud.
I’m going to ask you to back things up a bit and pretend you’ve just met. Start with a simple word. Say “Hi” when you pass him in the hallways and always smile.
Eventually you’ll progress to short conversations about his day by asking him what class he has next, commenting about a teacher you both may like (or dislike) and mentioning something about his attire that advertises something about him, as in, “Which Hard Rock restaurant is that shirt from?” or “I see you are a Lakers fan.”
As for being affectionate with him in front of people, don’t worry about that part yet. You shouldn’t be touching a person you can’t even talk to! And if he tries to touch you prematurely because of social pressure from the boys club, be sweet and friendly but remove his hand.
Remember, these early relationships are practice relationships. This is your big opportunity to practice communication skills.

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