I’m a Widow. Where Do I Start to Date?

April Braswell

Written by: April Braswell

April Braswell

April Braswell is a senior dating expert, dating coach and professional dating profile writer. She leads dating, relationship and communication skills workshops throughout California. You can sign up for her ezine at www.AprilBraswell.com and get a free gift ecourse when you do.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Reader Question:

I am a widow and I have not dated since the ’60s. Where would you start?

-Carol (Iowa)

April Braswell’s Answer:

Hi Carol,
First, I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, have been widowed.
I’m not sure from your question how long it’s been since your husband’s passing. If it’s been a number of years, you may already have started socializing with friends and family and getting back out into your local community.
As much as our friends and family are thinking of us and love us, they can feel quite hesitant to include us in the social activities and parties throughout the year. They think they’re protecting us.
Sure, we might not attend a winter party for the whole evening, but even to attend for an hour or so is a great start to stretching your social wings again.
If it’s still quite new or others simply aren’t inviting you to social occasions, follow my advice to widows and widowers and start back into the social scene very slowly and lightly.
Before you aim for major Saturday night dates, get out and socialize first. Get out and enjoy activities that encourage social interaction with others.
You can do this whether you are campaigning for your favorite cause or politician or just getting back out on the dance floor at a square dancing class at your local community center.
Meanwhile, you might find that once you shed your “widows weeds,” some senior men are coming out of the woodwork to ask you out.
Accept the dates when men ask you out! And then gently push back, letting them know, “I really like you and want to enjoy our evening together. I’m just a little rusty at this, so please bear with me.”
Men love to have their gallant side appealed to, so revealing a vulnerability while dressing up nicely for your date will create even more attraction to you.
After socializing for a few months, dip your toe in the Internet dating pool. Let me know how it all goes!
Happy dating and relationships,
April Braswell

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