Should Women Think Like Men

Women's Dating

Should Women Think Like Men?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Despite the best-selling book that prompts women to think like men, I beg to differ. Newsflash people! Men and women are biologically different. Even our brain physiology is different.

I know, some people hate when I say that. In these liberal times, suggesting that women are different has become politically incorrect.

But we are different.

When feminism did its important early work of integrating women into the workplace, women had little choice but to adopt male patterns of behavior. It was a male ordered workplace. (Although today, companies who have women on their boards of directors are more profitable.)

But in our love lives, adopting a male model of anything goes contrary to female biology. While some women are able to separate sex from emotions, like men are more able to do, most women get hurt.

In fact, the more sexual partners a woman has had, the more likely she is to be on an antidepressant! Women are wired to bond. Female orgasm produces giant gushes of the bonding hormone oxytocin, the same chemical that new mothers are exposed to when breast-feeding.


“If you think giving up the boots is the

way to his heart, you are dead wrong.”

Think (and feel!) like women.

I have been called an “evolutionary feminist” and encourage women to think (and feel!) like women. That means recognizing your emotional needs, clearly expressing them, and moving away from people who make you feel bad for being a woman.

On the other hand, though we shouldn’t think like a man, it’s our duty to understand how men think.

One man recently told me, “Most men are predators to women but you can also blame women for falling for their game.” While I want to make it clear that I completely disagree with his sentiment, and I told him so, there is a little jewel of wisdom in his thought.

Of course, we can’t blame a lamb for being eaten by a lion, but we can blame a lamb for assuming the lion is a mommy sheep. Open your eyes, little lambs.

Men want sex more than women.

Men are wonderful, awe-inspiring creatures but a basic biological fact (though a politically correct one) is that men want sex more than women.

Indeed, women may like sex just as much, but women’s sexuality is more linked to a particular male partner than to a daily or weekly quota of sex with almost anyone.

Now before you write that angry email saying you’re a wife who likes sex more than her husband, or you’re the man who prefers cuddling to sex, I’ll just say that there are always anomalies. But, in general, single men will do and say plenty of misleading things in order to obtain sex.

It’s our fault for not understanding men’s thought patterns.

It’s women’s fault for not giving him a little forgiveness. He is wired to lie a bit. He might say he’s looking for a real relationship when he’s not. He may say he’s thinking about getting married someday when he’s not. He may even say he loves you when he doesn’t.

In Dr. Dory Hollander’s book “101 Lies Men Tell Women,” the number one lie is “I love you” in order to obtain sex.

And the last thing you need to know about how men think is this: Men may crave sex but they do not fall in love through sex. If you think giving up the boots is the way to his heart, you are dead wrong.

Men fall in love when they sense a woman is loyal, honest, healthy and trustworthy. Having sex too early shows him none of this. That’s how men think.

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