Single Men Don’t Make an Effort. Why Am I Not Asked Out More?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

I would appreciate your advice for dating in a conservative Nebraska college town. I do not understand why single men do not make an effort to get to know me.

It’s nice to get “noticed” by the opposite sex, but why I am not asked out more often? Are people just too busy (or too lazy) to date in 2013? Are middle-aged men interested in attractive, approachable, professional middle-aged women?

-Suzanne (Nebraska)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Suzanne,

Before any man will express interest, a woman needs to give him a subtle invitation.

In public, are you using eye contact? Smiles? Are you starting light conversations about the weather at the coffee shop and dry cleaners?

And yes, dating where men drive and pay is becoming less popular. Sigh.

I would also go online and check your specific zip code. There might be a man in your neighborhood whom you never knew was single.


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