Unless I Text Him, I Don’t Hear from Him. Do I Make the Next Move?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

I don’t know what to do about this guy I’ve sort of been talking to. I ended up hooking up with him on a drunken whim.

We were friendly when we saw each other after, but the subject of us hooking up never really arose.

Unless I text him, I don’t hear from him. He said he was sorry for not really talking to me.

I feel like if he was really interested, he’d make more of an effort. I know he is a good guy, but I just don’t know what to do at this point.

Do I try to make the next move or wait to see if he tries again?

-Dim (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Dim,

I’m sorry to let you down, but you have lost the game here. Research shows people who have sex within 30 days of meeting have about a 90 percent chance of not being together one year later.

You may not believe in the sexual double standard, but most men do. It is hardwired in them from their anthropological past.

Any hunter who hooked up with a promiscuous woman risked having to spend precious resources on another man’s offspring.

Sadly, men think there are two kinds of women – some to have fun with and some to court as serious girlfriends. You accidentally put yourself in the first category in his eyes.

Next time use your feminine power to control the pace of the sexual relationship. Put feelings and commitment first and you’ll win the relationship.

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