Sometimes being single friggin’ sucks.
Before you roll your eyes at me, let me also state that if you are a regular reader of my blog, you know I in no way feel you need a man to complete you, be happy or live a fulfilled life.
I have been happily single
for more than four years now and have written more than 50 blog posts demonstrating that.
Now with that disclaimer being said (well, typed), let me also state that there are definite times when being single does in fact suck:
Yup, this happened in public when we were in a store. When you’re 82, you can literally say anything you want and get away with it. It happened like this:
Nanny: “How old are you now?”
Nanny: “You better use those eggs up before they dry up.”
- Who wants to disappoint their grandma?
- I’m 33 years old and my eggs are drying up.
- I am literally in no rush to be married or have kids.
- There is no four, actually. I just like even numbers.
OK, so yes I am single, I am not in a rush to be married nor am I purposely looking for a man to procreate with.
This is an instance when being single sucks because I do think about the fact that both of my grandmothers are up in age, and if I were to find someone
to spend my life with, I would like both of them to be here for it.
Being that I am a 33-year-old adult woman (I have my own place and do not live with my parents anymore), one of the worst times to live alone is when you are sick, and I don’t mean have a cold sick.
I mean the flu, pneumonia, bronchitis, cannot go to work, drive yourself to urgent care, can’t talk, getting out of bed is impossible and even my eyelashes hurt kind of sick.
I have been all of those things and have had to take care of myself by myself.
Taking care of myself is not the issue, and luckily I have amazing parents who have dropped off medicine and juice and checked up on me when I am sick (blessed beyond measure with those two).
It’s the fact that I have to do it all…by my damn self. Once, just once, I’d like someone to make my soup for me, go to the pharmacy and pick up my medication for me, pour my glass of juice and drive me to urgent care.
Do you know how hard it is to drive yourself to urgent care when you have bronchitis, pulled muscles from coughing so hard because of the bronchitis and pneumonia on top of asthma?
Well, I do because that just happened to me! Damn, that is a time when being single surely sucked, like sucked really, really hard.
Now I have stated the disdain I have for this in previous posts, but let me just touch on this subject in detail.
I cook 80 percent of everything I eat, so when I buy groceries, I am buying a great deal of groceries. Sometimes when I go in for one or two things, I think of a recipe I can make and end up buying more at the time.
Don’t even get me started on a trip to Target. You know what, I am going to get started on what happens at Target. I buy a particular bread that is literally only sold at Target.
Now I know I am not the only one who walks into Target for one item and ends up with a conveyor belt full of crap you don’t even need. Right? It has happened to the best of us.
Needless to say, there are shopping trips, whether they be for groceries, hair supplies or random items from Target I never needed in the first damn place, I have to carry all of that crap into my apartment myself.
Because parking for my apartment is not close to the entrance of my building. Also, because I live upstairs.
How about when it’s 10 p.m. at night and there’s a creepy guy walking down the street and you have two arm fulls of bags and you get scared? What am I going to fight him with? Bread? Those cheap pair of sweats I bought? Or maybe that deodorant stick I found on sale?
I would love to be able to call my boo
and have him come downstairs and around the corner to help me carry all of these bags in or open the door to my building so I don’t struggle or meet me downstairs at 10 p.m. so I don’t feel so scared of Mr. Creepy.
I am a horror movie enthusiast. As a kid, my mom and I watched every scary movie or television show that would come on.
Seriously, I was the only kid at school who watched “Tales from the Crypt,” “The Alfred Hitchcock Hour” and “The Twilight Zone.” Every Friday my family and I would go to the video store and rent tapes, that’s VHS to you young bucks. Maybe you need to Google it.
Anyway, my brother, sister and Dad would all pick out comedies and cartoons, but my Mom and I would pick out all of the horror films. We’d have to watch them after they all went to sleep because they were so scared!
Every time a new scary movie comes out, I try and find someone to go and see it with me, but no one will go. My mom hates the theater. She thinks it’s too loud and does not like the crowds.
Basically my horror partner has deserted me unless I watch the movies at my parents’ house with her.
I know I can just go to the movies by myself, but there is something about horror films that make you want to go with someone. Right?
It’s kind of like when you go to the Halloween mazes or fright nights. It makes it even more fun when you have someone to grab on to to when you’re scared.
I watch ghost stories and scary movies by myself a lot, but I would not mind having some nice sexy arms around me when I jump from fright. Judge me.
Here’s the thing: Like I have said not only in this post but posts past, being a married woman and having kids is not something I aspire to.
I am fulfilled spiritually and emotionally and having someone to spend my life with is just a bonus.
Yes, I am independent. I am making my dreams come true. I take care of myself financially and have family and friends, but having a man
to share all of this with would be absolutely wonderful.
Having a partner to share in my success, have Sunday dinner with my parents, meet my grandmothers and sister is icing on the cake for me.
For me, it’s about having the type of love that you can’t necessarily receive from your family and friends. Your family can love and support you, but romantic love and partnership is totally different, as we all know.
As I approach my 34th birthday, this is something I have been thinking a lot about. I feel I am now ready to share my life with someone and not because I feel I need a man, but because I am truly excited to give my heart to someone
When I see an elderly couple together holding hands or laughing, it definitely makes me feel hopeful for my future.