When To Stay The Night During A Long Distance Date

Women's Dating

When to Stay the Night During a Long-Distance Date

Kara Pound
Kara Pound Updated:
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Deciding whether it’s appropriate to stay at a man’s house during a long-distance date or whether to get a hotel room all depends on the approach and how well you know the guy. Here are three possible long-distance date situations with a verdict for either “House” or “Hotel” and the reasoning behind the decision.

1. He’s a childhood friend.

You’ve known this guy off and on for more than 25 years. You reconnected at a recent high school reunion and really hit it off. A month later, he sends you a ticket to fly from your home in New York out to his place in Seattle. And because he’s just an all-around nice guy, he offers to get you a hotel room if that’s more comfortable for you than staying at his house.

Verdict: House

Reason: You have 25 years to catch up on and since you have the same hometown and an entire high school student body to gossip about, it’s safe to say you won’t run out of things to talk about.

It’s also safe to say he’s not an axe murderer or anything like that since you’ve known him, his friends and his family for decades.


“When it comes to long-distance dating, a sleepover is

only appropriate when you feel 100 percent comfortable.”

2. He’s an online date.

You’ve been chatting for a few months after meeting on an online dating site and you finally decide to take the relationship to the next level. Problem is he lives three hours away. To go visit him, you’ll have to stay the night. He offers you a guest room at his house.

Verdict: Hotel

Reason: You’ve never met this guy and except for some really great phone calls, you don’t know anything about him. Protect yourself and get a hotel room in a convenient location.

That way, even if you’ve had a few glasses of wine and don’t decide he makes you uncomfortable until the end of the night, you have a safe place to lay your head.

3. He’s a friend of a friend and a blind date.

You’re going on a business trip to Chicago and one of your really good friends says she has a friend from college she thinks you would really hit it off with. She arranges a dinner date and the guy mentions that you’re welcome to stay at his place. Your company already paid for a really nice hotel room downtown.

Verdict: Hotel

Reason: Although this guy is a good friend of a good friend, you’ve never met him. You already have a hotel paid for, so there’s really no reason for you to stay at this guy’s place.

Treat this first date as casual. If you keep dating every time you’re in the Windy City for work, then a sleepover will be warranted.

When it comes to long-distance dating, a sleepover is only appropriate when you feel 100 percent comfortable with the guy you’re going to visit. Don’t ever agree to stay with a man you’ve never met before in person, and if there’s another option — say your company already paid for a nice hotel room — then go with that.