When To Stay The Night During A Long Distance Date

Women's Dating

When to Stay the Night During a Long-Distance Date

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Deciding whether it’s appropriate to stay at a man’s house during a long-distance date or whether to get a hotel room all depends on the approach and how well you know the guy. Here are three possible long-distance date situations with a verdict for either “House” or “Hotel” and the reasoning behind the decision.

1. He’s a childhood friend.

You’ve known this guy off and on for more than 25 years. You reconnected at a recent high school reunion and really hit it off. A month later, he sends you a ticket to fly from your home in New York out to his place in Seattle. And because he’s just an all-around nice guy, he offers to get you a hotel room if that’s more comfortable for you than staying at his house.

Verdict: House

Reason: You have 25 years to catch up on and since you have the same hometown and an entire high school student body to gossip about, it’s safe to say you won’t run out of things to talk about.

It’s also safe to say he’s not an axe murderer or anything like that since you’ve known him, his friends and his family for decades.


“When it comes to long-distance dating, a sleepover is

only appropriate when you feel 100 percent comfortable.”

2. He’s an online date.

You’ve been chatting for a few months after meeting on an online dating site and you finally decide to take the relationship to the next level. Problem is he lives three hours away. To go visit him, you’ll have to stay the night. He offers you a guest room at his house.

Verdict: Hotel

Reason: You’ve never met this guy and except for some really great phone calls, you don’t know anything about him. Protect yourself and get a hotel room in a convenient location.

That way, even if you’ve had a few glasses of wine and don’t decide he makes you uncomfortable until the end of the night, you have a safe place to lay your head.

3. He’s a friend of a friend and a blind date.

You’re going on a business trip to Chicago and one of your really good friends says she has a friend from college she thinks you would really hit it off with. She arranges a dinner date and the guy mentions that you’re welcome to stay at his place. Your company already paid for a really nice hotel room downtown.

Verdict: Hotel

Reason: Although this guy is a good friend of a good friend, you’ve never met him. You already have a hotel paid for, so there’s really no reason for you to stay at this guy’s place.

Treat this first date as casual. If you keep dating every time you’re in the Windy City for work, then a sleepover will be warranted.

When it comes to long-distance dating, a sleepover is only appropriate when you feel 100 percent comfortable with the guy you’re going to visit. Don’t ever agree to stay with a man you’ve never met before in person, and if there’s another option — say your company already paid for a nice hotel room — then go with that.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.