28 and a kissless virgin.

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28 and a kissless virgin.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    MCmongoose
    MCmongoose
    Participant
    November 30, 2019 at 4:41 am #225833
    28 and a kissless virgin.

    I’m not hideous or unpleasant but I just can’t seem to get it right. The only person I can blame is myself but I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong.

    What’s worse is there are more and more stereotypes around the v-card making me afraid to try. Particularly the idea spreading through some parts the internet that (male) virgins are dangerous.

    edwardjones889
    edwardjones889
    Participant
    December 1, 2019 at 9:01 pm #225851

    whats the specific issue? getting dates? speaking to girls? too many first dates?

    MCmongoose
    MCmongoose
    Participant
    December 2, 2019 at 8:06 am #225858

    The first two.

    MCmongoose
    MCmongoose
    Participant
    December 2, 2019 at 8:06 am #225859

    Getting dates, talking to girls and the crushing feeling that I’ve missed out on too much already.

    MCmongoose
    MCmongoose
    Participant
    December 2, 2019 at 8:06 am #225861

    @edwardjones889 The first two and the crushing feeling that I’ve missed too much already.

    edwardjones889
    edwardjones889
    Participant
    December 2, 2019 at 3:26 pm #225922

    Start taking chances. Just talk casual at first

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 2, 2019 at 3:27 pm #225971

    There are usually three reasons why guys find themselves in your position.

    1. Lack of confidence/Fear of rejection.

    2. They’re aiming out of their league.

    3. They don’t have any close male friends who ARE getting laid to mentor them.

    Women are not some alien species that dropped down on earth from another planet.
    It’s not hard to figure out what women find attractive about men and then strive to cultivate those traits.

    “Become SOMEBODY!” – In other words become well known for having a talent/skill, wealth, leadership/alpha male traits.
    Be comfortable in your own skin, have a great sense of humor, consider joining some hobby/interest clubs on Meetup.
    Go to “happy hours” after work on Fridays, maybe hit a couple of nightclubs, bars, other places where people cut loose.

    Have some “practice dates/romance” by going out with a few girls you’re not all that interested in or believe will say “yes”.
    Join a few online dating sites/apps. Baby steps! Have FUN!

    MCmongoose
    MCmongoose
    Participant
    December 4, 2019 at 2:08 pm #226094

    @dashingscorpio do you think I can make up for lost time? I have this somewhat immature fear that I won’t get to use it before it falls off.

    Confused94
    Confused94
    Participant
    December 4, 2019 at 2:11 pm #226096

    There is nothing wrong with being a virgin.

    chrisharders
    chrisharders
    Participant
    December 6, 2019 at 11:04 pm #226267

    So first off, you’re doing fine. I know it might not seem like that now, but promise that you are.

    I was a virgin til 23 simply because I was clueless with how to start. Once I had someone give me some relatively basic advice, I lost my virginity within 2 weeks. Being a virgin weighed on me most of my life and I felt similarly to you with the apprehensions about being a virgin.

    I will say, you’re overthinking pretty much everything right now. Yes, being a virgin will turn some women off (might be tough to read, but let’s face it… you’re already thinking it) but how much longer are you going to let that hold you back.

    Do not think of having “lost time” in any way… I meet many guys in their 30s and above who are equally as lost as you who have been in one relationship since high school and are feeling equally clueless and as though there is some sense of “lost time.”

    Stop comparing yourself to others. There’s a ton more I could say on the technical stuff…

    herkamer63
    herkamer63
    Participant
    December 17, 2019 at 4:50 pm #226682
    Reply To: 28 and a kissless virgin.

    Hey, don’t feel bad, dude. I’m a 33 year old virgin. My problem for the longest time was my weight and my confidence. After I lost 120 lbs, now I’m asking women out. Just went on my first one a few weeks ago, after 10+ years on hiatus, and there might be another one with another woman soon.

    Don’t let being a virgin stop you from having fun in a non-sexual way. The whole point of dating is getting to know who it is that you’re interested in. If the woman you take out finds out you’re a virgin then mocks and ridicules you, don’t try because ALL they’re looking for is sex. Most women, though, from what I noticed, will see that you are and will like that quality about you because you’re NOT that type of guy that just wants to get in bed with them. Besides, if you ask me, it’s best to hold off on sex UNTIL you’re married anyway. Yes, with sex it’s pleasure, but it’s also for making babies (assuming it’s a man and a woman).

    So don’t worry, be confident, and you’ll find the right woman!

    Lcjams
    Lcjams
    Participant
    December 20, 2019 at 3:27 am #226834
    Reply To: 28 and a kissless virgin.

    Honestly it will all happen in good time, trust that wverytging happens for a reason. You need to develop your confidence so when you are out just make general conversations with girls. They may not be willing to recipricate at first but over time you will get more confident and the chats will flow naturally.
    It will happen when the time is tight, dont worry about when/what other people are doing it.

    mafekeche
    mafekeche
    Participant
    December 22, 2019 at 6:40 am #226918
    Reply To: 28 and a kissless virgin.

    oh

    inmy30s
    inmy30s
    Participant
    December 28, 2019 at 7:10 pm #227021
    Reply To: 28 and a kissless virgin.

    ask girls to grab a bite to eat. keep asking… until someone says ok. someone will say yes.

    on the first date — focus on listening, dont talk much — allow her to talk more
    dont stress about the kiss or anything more. just start with a dinner and listen

    MCmongoose
    MCmongoose
    Participant
    January 7, 2020 at 8:26 am #227366
    Reply To: 28 and a kissless virgin.

    I turn 29 this July. If I reach 30 in this state I will feel even more like a failure. I was bullied in school and this makes me think they were right about me. I hear people say things like “I haven’t had sex in a month”, and I wonder if I’m living their nightmare or something. Sorry if this all sounds dramatic, I have anxiety issues.

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