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R55DWParticipantJanuary 7, 2020 at 9:15 am #227379
Having anxiety issues maybe a major contributor and it can hinder you in many other areas in life, I speak here from some experience… Sorry if this is a personal question and by no means do you have to answer it but do you have ways to deal with/manage/handle your anxiety ?
MCmongooseParticipantJanuary 7, 2020 at 1:19 pm #227414
I have been on medication for most of my life but it only dampens it. I have an understanding family but it’s becoming less effective to talk it over. My younger brother has a baby. I haven’t even kissed. And now “incel” is everyone’s favorite word online. I have a phobia of wasted time and this feeds into it.January 13, 2020 at 5:17 pm #227727
Hey there MCmongoose. I kind of came here randomly out of boredom I guess, but as soon as I saw your thread, I had to respond. I’ll start off by saying this – I had my first kiss was when I was 28 years old. First time I had sex I was 29. First of all, there’s nothing wrong with you mate, you just have some issues that need fixing – everyone does, they just don’t admit it. And no, you are not wasting time. You just need more time because you’re diffrent – which is not a bad thing.
In my particular situation, the reason for me not being able to have relationships and girls in general were multi-factoral. For starters, almost 20 years of epilepsy, as well as strong social anxiety and depression that accompanied epilepsy. I also refused to have one night stands or NSA, because I wanted to know what it feels like to have a real girlfriend to spend time with and not just have sex with. However, considering my own situation, I was actually unfit for a serious relationship.January 13, 2020 at 5:25 pm #227728
The reason for this was mostly all psychological. Epilepsy ruined my mental health more then physical, I was bullied almost every day. My confidence was shattered into pieces and remained so for a very, very long time. Social anxiety and depression did not help. I had no idea how to talk to women, I was afraid to even start a conversation. Being a virgin and having zero experience certainly only exacerbated the problem. I also did not have a job for a long time, and I also dropped out of college after 2 years. I wanted to compete in martial arts, which I trained at the time, but epilepsy made that impossible as well.January 13, 2020 at 5:29 pm #227729
Basically I was a complete loser – I suffered from epilepsy and its side effects. I had seizures all the time. I could not focus on learning due to being ill and bullied all the time, and also due to seizures. My grades went from almost straight As to Cs and Ds. I was 10 when this all started happening. Due to low grades I could not get into the high school I wanted. That was a big hit. Later, I could not enter the university of Kinesiology because one of the requirements to become a student there was to be able to swim very well. As I had epilepsy, I could not swim since having a seizure in water would mean death for me, as I would drown. I never learned to swim. So that failed, too. I then went to some business college, but dropped out after 2 years since I had too many issues of my own to focus on anything. I got a job, but soon lost it due to recession. I battled anxiety and depression along the way, the whole time. i found another crappy job later on, but nothing special.January 13, 2020 at 5:37 pm #227730
For a long time, from age 22 to 27, I had no job, no money, no education. No career in sports due to illness. No girlfriend, not even friends. I was not in college. I was a virgin and had not yet even kissed. I wanted to go to the army at some point, but epilepsy ruined that as well. I was deemed “incapable” to be a solder. As you can see, my life was awesome. My seizures lasted for only several years, but the consequences lasted for another 15.
The only thing I had going for me was my iron will and my attitude to never give up. At age 21 I started olympic weightlifting, and some 6 years later, became national champion. At age 27 also, I finally got admission into the university of kinesiology. I still can’t swim very well, but it was enough to make it. I’m 3 exams away from my college degree. At age 28, I had my first kiss, and age 29 first sex. I managed to land a great job 2 years ago, and I’m making good money. I also speak 2 foreign languages, which I learned when I was a kid.January 14, 2020 at 8:35 am #227732
Anyway I don’t wanna spam the forum too much…the point is…my life was a disaster. A wreck. Some people in my situation would have just ended it, if you know what I mean. I was a complete loser, and due to no fault of my own. There was nothing wrong with me, but life gave me very shitty cards.
The point is…I never gave up. I went from zero to hero, literally. So take my advice…stop being afraid. Ask a girl out. Do it on social media first…I know anxiety is shit, and you can’t bring yourself to do it face to face. Just start asking girls out, and relax. And don’t wasted time – it’s possible to make up for everything 🙂 I’m living proof of that. Just remember one advice. Don’t give up. Crawl if you have to, but move forward. Battered, beaten, broken, humiliated, ashamed, afraid, crawling in dirt…but don’t retreat. Ever. Take my advice mate. At this moment right now, there is no one more fit than me to give you this advice. And I came here by pure chance. Funny huh?
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