3 years…. not sure where we are going.

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3 years…. not sure where we are going.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Savvy
    Savvy
    Participant
    December 6, 2018 at 3:40 pm #190636
    3 years…. not sure where we are going.

    I was in an LDR for 2 years(TN to OH), I met up with my bf in January 2018 and kept visiting him for about 7 months, in July 2018 I moved in, about 2 1/2 years ago I was really depressed and everything was spiraling out of control. we broke up for a few months until I got myself better, before we broke up he bought an engagement ring(he still has it to this day), he use to tell me how much he wanted to marry me and have kids etc(before I moved in) but now that I’ve moved in he won’t have sex with me, he won’t even mention anything about kids or marriage, everything has changed, I’ve asked why he won’t have sex with me and he either pushes me away or says no/I’m not ready(even tho he used to be sexual over text before I moved in), I’m starting to wonder if he has changed his mind about me and doesn’t want to admit it..I’ve tried sitting him down and asking him if he has confidence issues and he ignores me and gives me kisses…I just don’t wanna be led on.

    frankt
    frankt
    Participant
    December 6, 2018 at 7:38 pm #190653

    “…..before I moved in) but now that I’ve moved in….”

    The reality of you has sunk in to him. He might have been in love with the thought of being in love. You are now there “in person in the flesh”, and that requires more work compared to back when you weren’t there in person in the flesh. I think he might be having second thoughts about the work that will be involved. All relationship “require” work. This is a good accurate measurement of how ready someone is for a relationship. Propose to move in -OR- actually move in and watch what happens.

    Savvy
    Savvy
    Participant
    December 6, 2018 at 8:02 pm #190662

    Ive been living with him for about 7 months now so im just taking it day by day to see what happens.

    Savvy
    Savvy
    Participant
    December 7, 2018 at 9:08 am #190663

    5 months not 7 hah.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 9, 2018 at 7:28 pm #190755

    “he won’t have sex with me, he won’t even mention anything about kids or marriage, everything has changed,..”
    “he won’t have sex with me and he either pushes me away or says no/I’m not ready..”
    “I just don’t wanna be led on.”

    Being rejected is not leading you on. The real question is: Why are you still there?
    If you are unhappy in the relationship move on. Suffering is optional. No one is “stuck” with anyone.
    We are always where we (choose) to be.

    Last but not least your moving in together is not the reason why he pulled away from you.
    Approximately 53% of all weddings take place between couples who live together.

    “I was really depressed and everything was spiraling out of control. we broke up for a few months until I got myself better.”
    Most likely the events leading up to the breakup changed the dynamic of your relationship in his eyes.
    Ultimately you are responsible for your own happiness. If you’re not getting what you want move on.