6 month commitment ghosting (or not?)

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6 month commitment ghosting (or not?)

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2019 at 8:27 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    WidowedandWeary
    WidowedandWeary
    Participant
    March 25, 2019 at 12:34 pm #197573
    6 month commitment ghosting (or not?)

    I met a man on an online dating site for serious relationships. We hit it off amazingly – talking on the phone 8 hours at a time! Talked every day. Met after a month (LDR) and spent a month together. Continued frequent phone communication, and another shorter visit 2 months later. At the end of that visit he gave me the key to his house! He brought up the topic of “future together” a few times. He continued to call daily. Fast forward to last month. Everything was normal, until he didn’t call for a week. This was a break in the pattern – I calmly asked him if anything else was going on. NOTE: I have NOT been the kind of person to bring up relationship talks with him over the course of the previous 6 months and did not act needy. He said he was just busy and I was acting needy asking this. He said I’d be the first to know if anything was wrong. He called once the next day, and now I haven’t heard from him in a month. I called once and texted twice, no response. What’s happening?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 25, 2019 at 2:33 pm #197588

    What’s happening? – He’s got a new woman!

    There are two issues with online dating which often blurs lines or changes one’s normal courtship rules.
    Having multiple long conversations/emails/texts with someone can create an intimacy or familiarity like no other.
    Under these conditions it’s fairly common for people to have sex the first time they finally meet someone!
    On some level they feel like they already know the person.

    When it comes to long distance relationships: Actual time together and calendar time become one.
    Spending only six weeks together out of six months of time is viewed as being a six month relationship.
    I’ve known people who saw each other one weekend per month and would claim they’ve been dating a year.
    The truth is they would have spent 24 nights together out of 365 and in some instances they become engaged.
    Whereas if they had lived in the same town things would not have moved as quickly after only 24 dates.

    A LDR without a timeframe for someone to relocate usually fails.

    Lolo
    Lolo
    Participant
    April 1, 2019 at 12:20 am #197969

    I agree with dashingscorpio. Sorry to say it, but it’s probably true.

    ghostinghelp
    ghostinghelp
    Participant
    November 8, 2019 at 1:17 am #224844

    It does sound like he’s ghosted you unfortunately 🙁 His absolute lack of communication shows his unwillingness to be in an ongoing relationship with you and he is certainly not meeting your standards in the relationship. It can be really painful to be cut out of someone’s life without warning or explanation. So many men and women have been in similar situations to you.

    The main thing is to realize that you have no control over his actions, as he could have a million reasons why he stopped contacting you and you probably will never know exactly why. However, what you can control, is how you deal with your own feelings and get over what has happened. Have fun, look after yourself, hang out with friends and enjoy life!