A Girl I like advice.

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A Girl I like advice.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Deceptivetoe
    Deceptivetoe
    Participant
    June 18, 2018 at 4:19 pm #177368
    A Girl I like advice.

    Hey, So this girl there was something between us 12 years ago but nothing ever came of it. The first night on we met up I kissed her it was amazing. She is going through a divorce currently so over the next few months we continued to see each other but I started to notice she was not inviting me over. She knew I did not want to sleep together until we were in a relationship. When it came round to us sleeping together I asked if she was 100% what she wanted she said yes. She started saying I was too full on and I guess I was because I was in love and thought we were more than friends. We went away for a weekend together to her family home with her and my Kids. My friend from the US added her on Facebook which confused me. They started talking I think more than me and her. It upset me i got jealous. After then we stopped talking because she said I was checking up on her. We now have not seen each other for 2 months she has told me that she is talking to another guy. I honestly don’t know?

    Deceptivetoe
    Deceptivetoe
    Participant
    June 18, 2018 at 4:28 pm #177369

    There is more to it. When things were good she asked me to marry her. And also used to tell me off for saying stuff like “If we are only ever friends then I’m happy with that” she said stuff like “you say that so easy” I guess I’m just really confused because things were so good.

    I did use to turn up unexpectedly and waited outside her work once because I wanted to see her. She has since called me a stalker something that i am 100% not. I’m so confused because as I could see it we were dating and she said I would need to wait until the divorce is sorted. All of her family thought we would be together. I was even being introduced as the boyfriend at her brother’s party to relatives by her Mum.

    So now we don’t talk and I received a message from her on Friday saying “You pushed me away so now I’m going out to enjoy myself”

    Does anyone have any idea whats going on with her?

    DanceItOut
    DanceItOut
    Participant
    June 18, 2018 at 8:44 pm #177387

    It sounds like she doesn’t know what she wants. If you combine the divorce, stress, a new rekindled romance then it’s enough to make anyone tense. But I also can’t help but wonder if she is being truthful with you.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 19, 2018 at 10:54 am #177426

    If you’re “confused” or have to “figure her out” it means she’s really not (into you).
    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

    One of the biggest mistakes people make is holding onto memories of the (infatuation phase) of a relationship.
    If someone hasn’t seen you in a couple of months and calls you a “stalker” for showing up at their job….
    It’s a wrap! Move on!

    In order for her to have been “the one” she would have had to see (you) as being “the one”.
    At the very least a “soulmate” is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa)
    Best wishes!

    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

    Deceptivetoe
    Deceptivetoe
    Participant
    June 20, 2018 at 8:34 am #177449

    The problem I have is I’m in love with the Girl and don’t want to give up if there is just too much going on for her.

    Deceptivetoe
    Deceptivetoe
    Participant
    June 20, 2018 at 8:34 am #177487

    Does anyone think it could be that I pushed too hard? Because I know I was very full on because I knew I wanted a relationship

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 21, 2018 at 11:11 am #177658

    “The problem I have is I’m in love with the Girl…”
    Actually the problem is you don’t love yourself enough to believe you deserve to be with a girl who (wants) you!

    Moving on is not “giving up” especially when the other person has called you a “stalker”!

    Continuing to pursue someone who wants nothing to do with you is a violation of harassment laws.
    Be grateful there are {Billions of other women} on the planet. Odds are more than one would love and appreciate you.

    Lastly there is no such thing as “pushing too hard” if the other person is actually (into you).
    Essentially they would be wanting what you wanted.

    Suffering is optional. Move on and stop torturing yourself.

    Arcann85
    Arcann85
    Participant
    June 24, 2018 at 9:52 pm #177832

    I don’t know all the time frames of which everything happened, especially her divorce and when you picked up and started dating her. To me, it really sounds like this was a big dream and infatuation for you. We all get this, but its kind of like that book The Great Gatsby in a very loose sense in the fact that Gatsby waited years for that girl to divorce or a problem to arrise in their relationship so he could be with her, where as for her, the time and period of their romance had its season and she moved on… Currently what likely happened is, she basically used you to help her get over her ex but when something else came along that she really wanted, she cut ties fairly quick and blameshifted it to you because she knew she lead you on.

    You have to move on and DON’T hope to return to this relationship…Its not easy I know…There are women in my past I deeply miss but its not going to do you any good to continue holding on to her even in your heart. Make room for someone else.

    Deceptivetoe
    Deceptivetoe
    Participant
    June 27, 2018 at 1:07 pm #178142

    The Time Frames was we knew each other 14 years ago things happened but did not progress into a relationship. Then we stopped talking for 12years in which she got married and then started getting divorced 2 years back I broke up with my Ex 1 year ago and then 6 months back decided to look her up again. I hope to god I was not used to get over her ex because of that’s a heartless thing to do to someone when you know how they feel about you.

    I don’t know why I can’t let this one drop even after everything she called me and said I still think about her every day.

    Arcann85
    Arcann85
    Participant
    June 28, 2018 at 9:58 pm #178305
    Reply To: A Girl I like advice.

    Its normal to think about her, but you’re still responsible for your actions based on your thoughts of her. We as people think of all kinds of things but not all of those things are healthy to react to. This unfortunately is an example… You have to move on. You tried with this girl 12 years ago and you two are incompatible. You have built a fantasy based on this relationship and it fuels you to pursue it but you have not spent a reality with this lady..and you may think you want to, but trust me…you don’t. You are deceiving yourself and you have to let go. There is no future in this, only misery and it will always allude you into thinking there’s something you can do about it, but the fate of this has already been decided 12 years ago. When you move on, you move forward, not backward.

    It would be a cruel thing for her to but there are girls who instinctively cannot help but to use a person to satisfy their loneliness or heartbreak. I’m not saying they all do this but many do.

    Arcann85
    Arcann85
    Participant
    June 28, 2018 at 10:07 pm #178306
    Reply To: A Girl I like advice.

    Remember man, you can’t be a SLAVE to love. You are a GIVER of love, you can’t let a relationship CONTROL you because you and your future is every bit as important as this ladies. You cannot depend on someone else for YOUR life – you have to pick up the pieces and move where YOU want to go and do not make the mistake of changing your desires or steering your life in attempt to claim this relationship…NO relationship will work unless you love YOURSELF first…

    What you feel for this lady, is romantic, but it is not love…it is heavy infatuation and it will lead you down a miserable path. The reality of this has already happened. Everything she did to you, she really did…it really happened…THIS…is what your relationship is with her…you keep fantasizing and asking for more but THIS is it…you are already there..is THIS…what you want? because THIS …is the reality of your relationship with her…I know thats painful to hear but it is the truth… This isn’t what you want.

    WelshDude
    WelshDude
    Participant
    July 1, 2018 at 3:36 am #178523
    Reply To: A Girl I like advice.

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