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ZoeParticipantApril 4, 2017 at 7:20 pm #132099
I’ve really liked this one guy throughout the year, and it’s been really hard for me to talk to him in person. There will be times where he’ll say hi to me, or ask me a question, and I’ll be totally speechless. I can hardly talk to him over text message as well, and I don’t know what to do. I like him a lot, but my social skills are terrible. Advice people usually give me is to start a conversation, slowly and easily, but I can’t do that very well. Small talk is my worst fear, and if I make one small mistake, that’ll probably be the end of any chance I have with him – or at least, that’s what I think. He’s probably not the type of person that will be all for a girl that he doesn’t know walking right up to him and starting a conversation.
I just need tips on interacting with people in person… how to remain calm, what specific words to say and not say, things like that. So far, nothing has really helped me and I’m sure somebody on this site and help out. Thank you for reading!
AnonymParticipantApril 14, 2017 at 10:59 am #133271
What do you prefer? Try or leaving the rest of your life imagine what would be if you had ever tried? You barely talk to him so you like what you imagine him to be, you like the expectations you create over him…but you will only know if you really like him apart of all that “dream love” if you start to interact and talk more with him.
Social interecation with someone we have interest is never easy, and there is not the perfect speach or words that will make him fall in love with you in the first conversation. Don’t overthink on what you want to say, just say something, if he wants to know you more he will also try to interact with you.
Be calm, maybe try to ask to a friend you maybe have in common to go to to cinema or coffee and will be easier to talk with gim being with more people than alone.. (sorry for my bad english). Hope it helps.
richiroParticipantApril 14, 2017 at 11:49 am #133280
okay firstly.. there is no “mistake” in small talk – not unless you bring something up like death or cancer and they had a relative recently die from cancer. so just stay off the … potentially harmful subjects like death, politics, taxes, and diseases and you’re fine.
also.. we need to re-frame your mindset. It’s not that “small talk is hard” or “you can’t do conversations” – it’s that you FEAR small talk and conversations and are making it harder on yourself. So. the trick is to just start seeing it as NOT hard and NOT anything to fear and everything will be fine.
a huge way to do that is to remember there is no RIGHT, there is no WRONG – just talking. So stop thinking that there needs to be a perfect or correct response and just TALK from the heart and be yourself.
Lastly.. the biggest trick to talking…. is LISTENING! Pay attention to what the other person is talking about (DO NOT focus on what you’re planning to say next). They’ll say something you an connect/reply to
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