A serious WTF experience

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A serious WTF experience

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2018 at 8:39 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Noswad
    Noswad
    Participant
    August 21, 2018 at 7:01 pm #182147
    A serious WTF experience

    Shocking experience, deeply hurt.

    I messaged a lady 4 months ago, the messages went very well, and then she stopped talking to me. That’s how it goes……

    4 months later she texts me and says she really regrets not taking things further. I had liked her VERY much, so I phoned within the next 15 minutes.

    Over the next 5 days we exchanged 300 text messages, a dozen photos, 6 phone calls, and a few emails.

    She kept reiterating the same thing over and over – that I was a young handsome ‘Liam Neeson’, incredibly funny, obviously intelligent, an old fashioned gentleman, a good dad, etc etc. Kept saying that she really really liked me and ‘delighted’ that I had given her a second chance.

    On Monday we had dinner together, our first meeting, we were both a little nervous and a little tired, but it went fine. On Tuesday she was as cold as a Mackeral and never wants to see me or talk to me again. WTF ?

    Im completely confused by these bizarre pendulum swings – am I too perfect, too nice?

    starcrossed
    starcrossed
    Participant
    August 21, 2018 at 10:50 pm #182158

    Bitches be crazy.

    But I’m guessing she stopped talking to you because something started up with another guy, and when things went south she messaged you. Then who knows, maybe that guy got back with her or maybe you just weren’t what she was expecting. Seems a little harsh to say she never wants to see or talk to you again, but obviously something got her panties in a twist. I wouldn’t take it personally if I were you. Sounds like she’s got some shit to sort out.

    Cluelessguy
    Cluelessguy
    Participant
    August 22, 2018 at 12:46 am #182160

    I would say she used you as an escape. Some woman cant be alone for a minute. I think she was having something with another guy and that’s the reason she stopped texting you. Then things ended and she needed to fill that void until she got something better in her thoughts. I say you didn’t lose anything but saved you a lot of head and heartaches.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    August 22, 2018 at 6:20 pm #182286

    “Over the next 5 days we exchanged 300 text messages, a dozen photos, 6 phone calls, and a few emails.”
    Clearly there had to be some giddiness and excitement with anticipation on both of your parts about meeting in person.
    “…we were both a little nervous and a little (tired), but it went (fine). Fine???

    Even YOU didn’t have a GREAT time!

    WTF? There was NO “Chemistry” in person from her point of view!
    This is very common of people who “click online” and even over the phone.
    However once they are actually together face to face the “magic” isn’t there.
    The conversation doesn’t flow as smoothly and there’s almost no laughter.

    First of all Monday is a “school night” and not a “date night”! Only established couples go out on a “school night”.
    A first date should always take place on a Friday or Saturday. This also increases the odds of a possible overnight stay.
    The one exception might be a midday Sunday Champagne Bruch followed by a stroll in the park.
    Mondays aren’t romantic!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    August 22, 2018 at 7:13 pm #182288

    “Clueless guy” – You also make an excellent point.
    Some people treat relationships like jobs, they won’t leave one unless they have another one lined up.

    It’s very possible she was involved with another guy and that relationship ended.
    She then reached back for “Noswad” to see if he were still available and interested.
    Mind you he was never her “first choice” to begin with.

    Another possibility is she’s going through a “bad boy” phase.
    She knows “Noswad” is the type of guy she “should be looking for” but she’s not really attracted to “nice guys”.

    Nevertheless she (forced herself) to follow through and go out on a date with him.
    She was “tired” which in dating terms means (bored).
    The following day she realized she couldn’t continue to see him.
    You can’t manufacture chemistry. It’s either there or it’s not.

    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: NEXT!

    Noswad
    Noswad
    Participant
    August 22, 2018 at 7:23 pm #182289

    Thanks DS – you make some interesting comments.

    I wont respond to the first point – else we will be here all year.

    Re Mondays and dating – yes – you are 100% correct. Only an amateur dater would make the stupid mistake of going out on a Monday and expecting it to be as good as a Friday or Saturday. I will take that one on board. Appreciate the help.

    tyler
    tyler
    Participant
    September 9, 2018 at 9:30 pm #183811

    I would have to agree with everyone else on here that she either needed an escape or maybe she just doesn’t know what she wants yet. I like a girl in high school who did the same thing to me. Went on one date she knew I liked her but all the sudden never had anything to do with me ever again even after telling me all these positive things about me. But she did that to lots of guys I heard LOL.

    Joxen1
    Joxen1
    Participant
    September 9, 2018 at 10:08 pm #183816

    That is bizarre. Who knows she may have some serious personal issues that you don’t know about. Going from 0 to 100 and back is just plain weird. Almost as if she was having mood swings or something.

    I can kind of agree with the poster who said from her perspective things maybe didn’t work out in person but to me it seems strange given the volume of communication and the fact that the 2 of you just talked- you didn’t take things further and then have “compatibility” issues there. Plus it also doesn’t explain why she went cold turkey on you for 4 months when you were just talking online. Maybe she’s going through severe mood swings idk…

    Noswad
    Noswad
    Participant
    September 10, 2018 at 8:18 am #183819

    Thanks Joxen – I appreciate your support. Will buy you a beer next time I see you.