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patienceParticipantFebruary 1, 2015 at 9:42 pm #72338
I have been dating a married man for almost two years with the idea that he was going to be getting a divorce. He has been there for me through my divorce and some really tough times. I began seeing him after I made the choice to end my marriage, but I was still married. We have become very close and have had a great sexual relationship during this time. I want to be there for him and I care greatly for him but I cannot be one of two choices. He is saying he does not know what he wants and is not ready for a relationship. I had told him the same thing when we first began seeing each other and now I know that I want to be with him. Do I stay with him as he has with me through my ordeal or do I move on? I really do love him and want to be there for him.
patienceParticipantFebruary 1, 2015 at 9:45 pm #72339
I also do not want to loose him. Please help.
ExpatParticipantFebruary 2, 2015 at 4:32 am #72343
This sounds completely silly to me, but I’m not the same kind of person. My advice is of course you shouldn’t stay with him. He’s cheating on his wife to be with you. He’s sleeping with at least 2 women, who knows how many more. Do you really want to start a relationship that’s founded on lies and secrets? How would you ever trust him? How would he ever trust you? You’re both cheaters.
newbie_melbParticipantFebruary 2, 2015 at 6:25 am #72353
A former colleague of mine was in a similar situation with someone we both worked with. He kept saying he was in love with my colleague, and that he was going to leave his fiance. My colleague believed him, but everyone else in the office knew he was lying. Sure enough, two years later, she finally called his bluff; he broke up with her, and was married to his fiance a month later. His now wife never knew that her husband had been cheating on her for two years.
I don’t think you’re going to like my advice, but it’s similar to what Expat said. If he’s cheating on his wife to be with you, there’s no reason to think he won’t cheat on you with someone else. Or that he’s ever going to leave his wife. Even if he does, can you ever really trust him? About anything? If he’s already lied about something this major, you can’t trust a single word he says. For your sake, I hope I’m wrong, but secrecy and lies really isn’t a good foundation for a relationship.
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