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mollybedarlinParticipantSeptember 2, 2013 at 3:32 pm #38089
Hi, I am new here and I have a question about something and I’m wondering what people’s thoughts are. I’ve been disappointed a lot in the area of love and relationships, and so I’ve finally come to the conclusion that the problem is me, but I don’t know what the problem is or how I can fix it. It hasn’t really bothered me that much over the last year or so, and I was doing fine until… I met someone I’m interested in. I know this might sound like a weird situation, so please don’t be too judgmental or harsh. I teach English as a Second Language, and I’ve been teaching this guy over Skype for the past several months. I think he’s attractive, and I haven’t been creeping on him (because he is my student), but, over the past several months, I have gotten the impression that he is interested in me. I always catch him looking at me when I’ve got my head turned away or I’m doing other stuff, and when I look up, I can see him smiling at me. The other day, I basically had to tell him to pay attention because he was staring at me. Lol. He hasn’t really mentioned anything about getting together, and I am not about to bring it up because that is not what I’m being paid to do. We really get along well, and his English has improved a lot since we started working together. I’m not sure if it’s just a situation where I should enjoy the friendship/flirtation or wonder if there might be something more. There is the language barrier, and there are cultural and religious differences (he is Russian and Russian Orthodox; I am American and…nothing). He is moving to Canada in a couple months to go study English there and I feel like maybe this isn’t a good time for him to start anything with anyone. You see, I’ve been in situations with guys before where they act interested or flirt, or we even hang out a bit, and then I am soon thereafter friendzoned and I’m not certain what I am doing wrong. I could definitely handle just being friends with this guy (because, after all, I really don’t know him at all), but I’m just living in fear of it happening again. I don’t want to act overly flirty with him because I am his tutor and I don’t want to be creeping on him. At the same time, I don’t want him to feel like I’m disinterested in him or wouldn’t like him because his English isn’t perfect. I have started to learn a little Russian, but I am nowhere near being able to have a conversation with anyone in that language outside of talking about the weather. :p Please, I don’t want to sound like I am taking advantage of him but I do think he’s very handsome and he seems like a nice guy and we get along, and he does seem attracted to me, which I take as a huge compliment since he’s around gorgeous Russian women all the time. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks. 😛
OsBrideParticipantSeptember 9, 2013 at 4:19 am #38406
Well, First you should start love your self after that you are able to fine partner of your choice.
An IdealistParticipantSeptember 18, 2013 at 1:10 am #39162
Hi! I don’t really have any advice, but I just thought your dilemma was really interesting because I’m kind of in the same situation.
At my job, there’s this guy. He’s cute and really nice and he’s always going out of his way to help me with anything. But he only recently came to the US from Egypt, so he speaks Arabic, and the little English that he does know pertains to the job, though we sometimes talk about other things, e.g. my schoolwork, his second job, our dogs, etc.
Due to the language and cultural barrier, I’m certain nothing will ever come of it because, unlike the guy in your situation, the guy I work with isn’t learning English. (As pathetic as this may sound, I started taking Arabic courses, so I still have a ray of futile hope. But I’m not taking the class solely for this guy. I really like learning new languages, and am considering pursuing teaching English as a second language as a career, and Arabic was on my mental list of languages to learn.)
ANYWAY. I just wanted to let you know that I understand to some degree the difficulty of your situation. Sorry I wasn’t helpful. But good luck!
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