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Dusty79ParticipantSeptember 27, 2013 at 1:32 pm #40154
This is my first post here, though I’ve been lurking for a while. Basically theres a guy I work with who I was very close to for a while, it was all unspoken ish but people assumed we were together from how we were with each other, though we never slept together or anything like that as he had a long term girlfriend. A situation happened that I’m not allowed to discuss due to the nature of our employment (I know that sounds really vague but I’m not going to risk my job 🙂 ) and we didn’t talk for a couple of months.
Now weve started talking again. Around other people he won’t look at me or speak to me, but when we’re alone it’s pretty much like old times. I’ll catch him staring at me when he thinks I’m not looking, or having a sly look in my direction if he passes my office etc. I know it probably sounds daft (well, not probably!) but after having nearly 6 months to think about it, I have to let him know I’m an ‘option’ to put it crudely. That’s not something I ever let him know 100% – I thought I did but there’s a difference between a woman’s obvious and a man’s, he may not have thought I was being 100% serious. I’ve started talking to him more if we’re leaving at the same time etc, but in public if we are together he can stand right next to me, literally touching arms but not speaking and it feels like this huge tension in the air
So, my question is basically – how can I let him know that I’m serious about him (even if we just ended up sleeping together, I’d get *some* sort of closure) without saying it out loud? Due to what happened (not my fault, btw), I’m not in a position to put myself out there and be THAT vulnerable yet. I can’t think of how to phrase it, really, but I’m expecting this to be a ‘long game’ building up…the foundations have to be built back up again
I’ve probablt forgot loads but if you got this far, thanks for reading!
HHBParticipantNovember 10, 2013 at 7:28 am #42663
It’s hard to give you advice, not knowing the situation that happened. If he already taken, he’s aware the tension and your crush already but can’t act on it for many reasons. Play up the tension , but start being a bit distant. Don’t seem to available.Become suddenly busy or look for accuses to cut conversations short, subtly flirt with other guys. He’ll notice this and react more overtly. This is what you need to do go from casual flirting to serious flirting.
lola.blazeParticipantNovember 10, 2013 at 1:36 pm #42667
I say you have to ask him one time to go to an after work event with you that wouldn’t really be something two people would do together if they’re just friends. Based on this one question you should be able to few out the situation. If he doesn’t seem full on interested I would drop it and try to forget about him
warponParticipantNovember 10, 2013 at 5:38 pm #42669
Considering he’s in a relationship, you might have to give it time. It could be just a friendship.
daiwa16ParticipantNovember 10, 2013 at 8:39 pm #42670
Honestly, if I were the guy, I would prefer if you jut told me about your feelings. I’m not like most guys in that I have different opinions than most, but sometimes you just gotta chance it. If you mean anything to him he’ll still be talking to you the next day. Sorry it’s probably not the advice you wanted, but it’s my opinion it’s I. No way right or wrong.
SuperCupidParticipantNovember 13, 2013 at 7:09 pm #42861
Take the bull by the horns and reveal your feelings to him and watch his reaction. If he is vague and uneasy you will know if he is just playing you or if his feelings are deeper than just the skin. Just don’t lead him onto any physicality before you are sure about his intentions.
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