Afraid I’ve lost a great friend and the potential love of my life…


Afraid I’ve lost a great friend and the potential love of my life…

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    October 10, 2017 at 7:18 pm #152376
    Afraid I’ve lost a great friend and the potential love of my life…

    Grew up with this girl, one of my closest all-time friends. Always had strong feelings for her. Senior year of HS I let her know how I felt and things got weird, but we got past it. I moved away for college and in the years after graduating I would take her out for drinks/dinner whenever I’d come home. She’d always be super excited to hang out and as times gone by her enthusiasm has only grown. A few months ago I was home again and took her out. We had an amazing night that ended with her bringing me back to her apt, us confessing feeling for each other, and then having great sex for the 1rst time. Everything seemed fine the next day, but in the month following she began to distance herself, not respond to messages, and she eventually told me the whole thing was a lot for her to process and that she felt weird. I’m moving back home for good this week and don’t know what to do. I’ve been giving her space but I really want to see/talk to her. Im afraid I’ve lost her.

    October 10, 2017 at 9:09 pm #152377

    I’m sorry to hear this happened, I know that it feels so great to find the love of your life, someone who is lovely to be with in all ways. Many people are conflicted about what they want. It may be that part of her is attracted to you, and part of her is ambivalent or doesn’t like something about you.

    I think it would help you if she could tell you more specifically what her feelings are about. If she is distancing herself, then you can’t demand this information from her. You have to give her space — as you indicated. Perhaps you could send her another message — after giving enough space and time — and lay out your feelings about her in a totally open and non-demanding way. Try to be aware if anything you are saying sounds like a demand or guilt trip or anything like that. Maybe ask another friend to help you figure that out.

    Then it’s up to her whether to respond. I think that’s the best you can do.