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isabella49ParticipantFebruary 29, 2020 at 3:09 pm #230655
Sorry if this sounds stupid.. I have a tendency to overthink things. So I met this guy online and we have had a couple of dates. He asked what I thought we should do for our third date. We agreed on an activity and now he is asking if I mind whether a few people come along or should it just be the two of us!
I’m slightly confused, am I being politely friendzoned? I’m not quite sure how to respond, but I don’t think I would be comfortable meeting his friends yet anyway.
dashingscorpioParticipantFebruary 29, 2020 at 5:40 pm #230656
“I don’t think I would be comfortable meeting his friends yet anyway.”
That’s all you need to tell him!
Most guys aren’t into spending money taking women out they met on dating sites as “friends”.
If you’re (paying your own way) it’s possible he does see you as a “friend’.
You should replay your conversations and the two dates you’ve had.
Did he actually refer to these get togethers as “dates” or an invitation to “hang out”?
Was there any complements, lingering eye contact, flirtatious banter, smiling/laughing, hand holding, or kissing?
Dating and “hanging out” are two different things!
There are a three other possibilities with regard to this third date.
1. He’s actually “into you” and wants to show you off to his friends.
2. He’s nervous/uncomfortable being on a date with you and wants his friends to help him relax or distract him.
3. The activity he/you chose was something his friends were likely going to be at. (festival, concert, public event)
isabella49ParticipantMarch 1, 2020 at 5:02 am #230662
Thank you so much for your reply! I have offered to pay, but he insisted on both occasions and did refer to it as a ‘date’ when he asked me to go out. He hasn’t complimented me once though or made any kind of move at all – it’s only been a goodbye hug. There was a little bit of banter and we had a laugh.
I guess he’s just not giving me many signals and I’m not sure he actually likes me like that.
dashingscorpioParticipantMarch 1, 2020 at 12:52 pm #230671
Usually after three dates most people know if they want to continue seeing someone or not.
In the meantime keep your options open by meeting and dating other men.
A major mistake people make is acting as if they’re in an exclusive relationship when there is none!
They allow themselves to become too “emotionally invested” with people they barely know.
These are also the same people who are the most hurt when they get ghosted.
If you were seeking a job you wouldn’t stop sending your resume out just because you had a great interview with one company!
Until an offer has been made and accepted both the candidate and the company are within their rights to interview with others.
Remember it’s not all about what HE wants!
Do YOU like him? Do you feel there is a possible love connection?
Is (he) relationship material? Does (he) have the traits YOU want in a mate?
If you’re not getting what YOU want out of this move on.
The world may not owe you anything but YOU owe yourself the world!
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by dashingscorpio.
Sarah102ParticipantMarch 9, 2020 at 4:36 pm #231254
Just talk to him, tell him how you feel and just find out if its a friend zoned situation or not
hrvymalaysiaParticipantMarch 12, 2020 at 12:19 am #231398
Hey its okay to overthink, we all do it, but from what you said I feel like he is either
– catching feelings for you and feels comfortable enough to introduce you to his friends or
– he doesn’t want to offend you and he’s trying to keep you involved while maybe indirectly telling you that he wants to stay friends
The only way you would know is to ask him at the right time of course! All the best!
sandraparrishParticipantMarch 14, 2020 at 3:35 pm #231518
I’m sorry, but whether you want to call it the “friend zone” or “offering friendship facetiously because you can’t be real enough to just say you’re not interested in any sort of relationship”, it exists.
I have a lot of lady friends, we don’t always keep in touch but whenever we see each other it’s always pleasant and we all care about one another as friends. I can’t tell you how many times a woman has said “I’d rather just be friends” and then when I’ve tried to take her up on that offer I learned the long way that there was no genuine intention of having a real friendship. She just thought she could lie for sake of “not hurting my feelings” so she wouldn’t be perceived as a “bad person”.
I despise when people do this. Men and women alike. If you’re not feelin me in a romantic way and aren’t interested in getting to know me on any level then keep it real and let’s both move on and wish each other well, don’t lie because you’re worried about how I’ll react.
Louisamarie212ParticipantMarch 28, 2020 at 10:01 pm #232269
I think you are all good in terms of his attraction to you. It’s a good sign that he wants to be seen with you around his friends. He isn’t ashamed to be with you. If you are not into that definitely let him know and establish your feelings towards it. If he’s a good guy, he won’t mind. But for sure I don’t think you are in the friend zone. Good luck!!
blueberrypandaParticipantApril 1, 2020 at 4:49 am #232417
He may want you to meet his friends – that could even be a good sign. It could mean he is friend zoning you as well, but we do not have enough info at this point. I think you should go on the date and then it will become clear what he wants.
justin2020ParticipantApril 2, 2020 at 1:58 am #232488
no man and don’t overthink
dazaiParticipantApril 2, 2020 at 11:34 am #232502
move on, he’s not worth it. next.
p.s yes he hates you find someone else loser
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