Am i being strung along?

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Am i being strung along?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    January 1, 2020 at 6:13 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Littleone3
    Littleone3
    Participant
    January 15, 2020 at 4:18 pm #227887
    Am i being strung along?

    Liked this guy since we met 16 years ago. Im 38 hes 45
    We went on 2 dates about 10 years ago to which he said he liked me since day one as well.
    We didnt get it together properly due to, hey i dont actualy know.
    Turned out a while later he just wasnt sure what i wanted. Appoligised for not sortung it out and asked ti be with me but i was with someone else then.
    life happened, weve both been in long term relationships and had a child each.
    Both have broken up with those relationships and randomly bumped into each other. Defo still attracted to each other. He asked me out but i had to say no as i was still living with my ex and just didtnt want to complicate things.
    Then he contatced me later and said he would love to catch up soon.
    I said great as ex moving out soon.
    We exchanged text and confimred we both want to date and see how it goes.
    Then we arranged a date. To which he couldnt make .
    Then all we done is messge each other . He still wants to see me but no actual date !?

    Littleone3
    Littleone3
    Participant
    January 15, 2020 at 4:18 pm #227888

    Alao i feel like i initiate the messages more then him.

    • This reply was modified 1 week ago by Littleone3 Littleone3. Reason: Spelling
    billvm
    billvm
    Participant
    January 15, 2020 at 5:30 pm #227896

    Seems to me that sixteen years ago, you were both on the right track towards a solid relationship. Younger and less wounded by toxic relationships that accrue over the years for all of us.

    That you both find yourselves single again and communicating confirms that there is still something, all these years later, that has potential to rekindle what once was.

    So why is it not happening? Just messaging each other is distant and detached. Face to face is the human way to go about finding out if you were meant for each other. Or not.

    Send him a clear message from your heart. How do you feel about him now? A message of depth not generalities. Ask him directly why he is not committing to a date.

    You will have that answer of yes or no. Not maybe.

    My assumption is that there something here that is blocking both of you from getting together again. Could be that he is reluctant to commit. A fear of rejection. Or the magic of sixteen years ago has disappeared.

    Communicate from the heart

    Anna78
    Anna78
    Participant
    January 15, 2020 at 8:07 pm #227898

    Honestly, I think you’re making it too complicated.
    Forget the past, if you’re interested in each other now… just go for it.
    Neither of you have anything to lose. Be clear & specific about your interest.
    If he feels the same, he will meet up with you. 🙂
    Sounds like he is interested as well and just needs a clear set date.

    Littleone3
    Littleone3
    Participant
    January 16, 2020 at 8:24 am #227901

    @anna…i agrree its from here and now that counts. Weve made it clear we like each other but i can get an actual date! Lol…im trying to just go fpr it but he seems a little aloof . Says things like would love to meet up soon but never giving a date. Maybe hes keeping his options open. I got asked out by another guy too so i can also keep options open but the first guy is who i really like.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 16, 2020 at 1:24 pm #227927

    Stop “romanticizing obstacles”!

    It’s so easy to get caught up in the star crossed lovers with “bad timing” scenario.
    The truth of the matter is it shouldn’t be this “hard” for two people who (actually) WANT to get together!

    You should be keeping your options open by dating multiple guys.
    Don’t allow yourself to become emotionally invested too quickly with anyone.
    Unless there’s been a discussion where both people mutually decided to be a “couple” it’s a “situationship” not a relationship.

    Move on!

    Caroline24122
    Caroline24122
    Participant
    January 17, 2020 at 5:19 pm #228058

    An interesting story, but I would not want to be in your place

    Suckatdating
    Suckatdating
    Participant
    January 20, 2020 at 7:00 am #228077

    Stop “romanticizing obstacles”!

    It’s so easy to get caught up in the star crossed lovers with “bad timing” scenario.
    The truth of the matter is it shouldn’t be this “hard” for two people who (actually) WANT to get together!

    You should be keeping your options open by dating multiple guys.
    Don’t allow yourself to become emotionally invested too quickly with anyone.
    Unless there’s been a discussion where both people mutually decided to be a “couple” it’s a “situationship” not a relationship.

    Move on!

    Hi there. This was a good reply. I also agree that if two really wanna meet they will find a way to do that… easy to get catched in this string along trap. Wish you luck🍀