am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

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am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

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    leanna5
    leanna5
    Participant
    November 5, 2017 at 6:23 am #155105
    am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

    I’m in my mid 50s. Divorced 6 years after a long mostly good marriage.
    I’ve been online dating for years now with no luck.
    In part its been my own fault—too picky. Not that I wanted to be picky, it was just how I felt.
    Now that I feel more open, I’m afraid I’m doomed.
    Its mostly the same guys on the dating websites that have also been there for years.
    Its not that they’ve asked me out and I’ve rejected them (they have not), its just that they’ve seen me there again and again quite literally for years.
    I hear that men only like “high status” women. Obviously a woman who has been looking for a partner for years can’t be high status.
    What can I do?
    I’m not unattractive physically (men who actually know me have told me that I”m actually ‘hot,’ despite being middle aged), but men in their 50s seem totally uninterested in me.
    Help?

    bittybuff
    bittybuff
    Participant
    November 22, 2017 at 3:09 pm #157254

    Men in their 50’s are hopeful they can get a 30-something because despite them ageing, their minds are still that of a 28 year old.

    My mother had a really difficult time and found herself single at the age of 52 and she is now 63 and only just in a relationship she sees lasting.

    please don’t give up hope – you are young! There is time and don’t settle. You will find someone because he’s currently out there looking for you!

    You need to open yourself to letting positivity in and maybe join a group or a hobby that you like doing because guaranteed someone will know someone and your paths will cross somehow.

    I’m no expert so I just want you to know that I believe he’s out there, you just need to be in the right mindset to allow him to find you…?

    Merlin
    Merlin
    Participant
    November 27, 2017 at 8:24 am #157295

    Ahh, you’re young yet. Go on LOTs of dates. Have LOTs of fun, there are way more guys looking than gals, you’ll find someone.

    dale
    dale
    Participant
    January 2, 2018 at 5:38 pm #161307

    go to a gym work out talk to people get back in to living again the right person will come along

    opspring
    opspring
    Participant
    January 17, 2018 at 12:10 am #162603

    I think there is still hope.

    chantelbrown
    chantelbrown
    Participant
    January 17, 2018 at 12:49 am #162604

    There are multiple soul mates out there for you, so don’t worry.You just haven’t found yours yet. They always say you find love when you least expect it, and that you won’t find it if you are looking for it.

    mr banny
    mr banny
    Participant
    January 17, 2018 at 5:08 am #162608

    i think once you see a man you like that is of the same age grade with you,approach him and tell him your mind for there is nothing to be ashame off.I tell men of your age will definitely understand.

    elc
    elc
    Participant
    January 17, 2018 at 11:25 am #162635

    Theres definitely still hope.

    mrjohnny
    mrjohnny
    Participant
    January 17, 2018 at 4:14 pm #162662
    Reply To: am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

    Look the trick is to get out there and enjoy life on your own terms. When you do this you will be surprised how many people will come into your circle. So go out and do you but keep an open eye out for a potential mate at the same time. That way you aren’t obsessing over not having anyone at the moment. Just my two cents. Good luck in the search.

    Oldbutnew
    Oldbutnew
    Participant
    July 30, 2018 at 6:33 pm #180518
    Reply To: am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

    Hi, I’m a guy and I feel the same. I’m older than you at 65 and have not had good experiences with on
    Line dating. Have you considered older men or only men in their 50’s?

    MeltedDuke
    MeltedDuke
    Participant
    July 30, 2018 at 7:05 pm #180521
    Reply To: am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

    There’s always hope. You may be older but what alternative do you have. Stay positive and keep putting yourself into new situations where you are more likely to meet a single man. You won’t find what you’re looking for online. you have to be out in the real world to find the man that suits you. Lastly, remember no one has life all figured out. Our perspective is almost negatively bias however make it known to yourself when you find yourself feeling self pity that no one has it figured out and that most of the “happy” relationship are pretty from the outside but chances are their miserable in the inside. So appreciate what you have and being single doesn’t define you.

    derik
    derik
    Participant
    August 1, 2018 at 6:26 am #180597
    Reply To: am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

    Men in their 50’s are hopeful they can get a 30-something because despite them ageing, their minds are still that of a 28 year old.

    My mother had a really difficult time and found herself single at the age of 52 and she is now 63 and only just in a relationship she sees lasting.

    please don’t give up hope – you are young! There is time and don’t settle. You will find someone because he’s currently out there looking for you!

    emilydavis8218
    emilydavis8218
    Participant
    August 2, 2018 at 10:40 pm #180750
    Reply To: am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

    I don’t think your life is over. Like the saying goes there are many fish in the sea. However if you are too pick then there will seem like there are less fish. Maybe work on your intentions with these men (ie. Decide what exactly you are looking for) and then it will be probably seem like there are more men out there. I have faith you will find someone worry of you!

    doninvaughan
    doninvaughan
    Participant
    August 17, 2018 at 3:41 pm #181862
    Reply To: am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

    am I doomed to be alone now that I’m in my mid 50s?

    Any update? have you been able to get on dates yet?

    I feel for you, it’s difficult finding dates when you’re mid 50s. Online dating sites are full of scams and difficult to even find a place to meet people.

    Coach_Michael21
    Coach_Michael21
    Participant
    August 21, 2018 at 12:08 pm #182069
    Reply To: am I doomed to be alone now that I'm in my mid 50s?

    Age is one of the strongest limiting beliefs there is. I’m sorry you’re going through what you’re going through.

    The important thing is though… How do you feel about yourself? How do you value yourself as a person? Throwing out the age issue for a second, how worthy do you feel? I’m not sure it’s the age itself that’s giving you the issue, but rather your belief about the age issue. What kinds of actions have you been taking to meet men recently?If you are ONLY doing online dating, maybe it’s time to change that! Join groups, get involved in communities, go to charity events, you’re going to meet tons of men in your age group. Furthermore, since meeting people in the flesh allows them to see the full “you” on display, rather than just a bunch of pictures, a number for your age, and a few lines of text, those men are much more likely to form a positive impression of you. Get off the apps, and try meeting in the flesh!

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