Am I in over my head here?


Am I in over my head here?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    July 7, 2020 at 12:23 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    EliteSingles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    Adult Friend Finder Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    September 4, 2014 at 7:36 pm #60728
    Am I in over my head here?

    Alright, I can’t even believe I’m posting. I just don’t know what to do with myself. This is the first time I can say I’ve felt like this. I thought I was in love before. But this- this is different. I can’t eat. I have that “butterflies” sensation everyone talks about. This guy is the perfect gentleman. He’s honest, sweet, and nice to a fault. He’s the exact opposite of the crap- storm of a relationship I was in for six years previously. Thing is, we’ve become pretty decent friends. Let me just preface this by saying that I’m not the most patient person in the world. I realize that. So before you start cringing when you read the rest of this, I know. I know that I jumped the gun. I’m not an idiot. To start this story, he and I were alone for the first time really last weekend. He has this really large sectional sofa, and we ended up right next to each other. He made no move to get away from me, so I decided to pull that middle school move where you bump

    September 4, 2014 at 7:45 pm #60729

    hands, hoping the other person will grab yours. And he did! We ended up holding hands for a whole 2 hours, but nothing else happened. When it was time to say goodnight, he walked me home and kissed me on the cheek. That got me thinking, was he being a gentleman or is he just not into me? So the next day, I asked him if I made him uncomfortable. He said I didn’t make him uncomfortable, but he wanted to keep the friendship going. So I asked him if he just wasn’t attracted to me or what. He replied that he was attracted to me but he just didn’t get that “googly” feeling. WTF? Ok, so we continued our friendly texting banter throughout the day. I finally reminded him I had a movie at home that he wanted to see. He invited me over to see it that day. Long story short, we enjoyed the evening without touching, except for the goodbye, which was a great big hug (which he’s never done before). I get that he wants to stay friends, but am I crazy to think things could grow into more?

    September 6, 2014 at 10:56 pm #60848

    okay…yes i did cringe a little. hes a polite guy and he naturally likes you AS A FRIEND youve already taken away any mystery there was by initiating the entire thing. i mean, hes telling you as clearly (and politely ) as possible that he just isnt that into you. also, hes probably thinking about it, waiting to see if that ‘googly’ feeling appears. well buddy, you gotta regain some control here. this is what I would do, not necessarily advice more than its just giving my point of view :

    I would stop calling/ texting him. if he initiates contact, reply to the text / call exactly as you would do but end it within the first couple of messages/ a minute or two into calling. for example : also, please make your life sound fun!


    him: hey whats up.
    you: hi !just met up with dave and andy, havnt met them in forever
    him: oh yeh, thats nice
    you: yup just walking into a movie now so will connect with you later!x

    more in the next post…

    September 6, 2014 at 11:00 pm #60849

    call :

    him: hey whats going on
    you: just got home. got back from brunch its been such a crazy day im so beat
    him: you wanna get dinner/ watch a movie
    you: you have no idea how good that sounds but i think im gonna stay in with a book today, i have breakfast with anne tomorrow il connect with you after and see where youre at.

    see? couple of times if he calls post 8 or 9 o’clock. dont pick up. or if he whatsapps, check it, but dont reply. build a little mystery.
    give him SPACE to miss you
    i know it sucks, and i know playing games isnt fun, but two awesome things will happen when you get your head out of this and start doing other things :

    -either his ‘googly’ will kindle now that he realizes he doesnt have you around all the times
    -or, you will start focusing on your life WITHOUT this guy and will just get on with it