Am I over thinking/worrying?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Am I over thinking/worrying?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    20F
    20F
    Participant
    April 8, 2018 at 8:34 pm #169910
    Am I over thinking/worrying?

    I am 20 years old and have never had a boyfriend. I just had my first kiss in November and we went to 2nd base (kinda). My family has never known me to date anyone or even kiss anyone. They are very over protective and are down my throat about everything, however, they want me happy and they want me to find someone. But it has to be the type of guy that they want me to be with. I met someone on tinder, he’s from my hometown and went to my high school, he’s 24 and honestly awesome! he wants to meet and take me out but im so nervous. I am going home this weekend(don’t even have a car right now) and he wants to go out. What do i tell my family? They don’t like Tinder and i guess I’m just scared that they will ask a million questions and judge everything. They don’t understand dating in this day and age and i feel like they think that the guy i am with will never be good enough for me. I am nervous to be going into this uncharted territory, not only with myself but with my family.

    PatrickStar
    PatrickStar
    Participant
    April 9, 2018 at 5:35 am #169918

    You have to make your own decisions. Don’t let other people’s opinions keep you from finding happiness. Although it’s sad to think about, your family will be gone one day and their opinion will no longer matter. My parents have already passed away and I’m living on my own. I’m sure they would have an opinion about decisions I’ve made in my life but it doesn’t matter anymore since they’re gone. You are in control of your own life; always have been and always will be. Never forget that.

    foothorski27
    foothorski27
    Participant
    April 9, 2018 at 7:20 am #169920

    Honestly at 20 years old you shouldn’t let your parents’ opinions affect your decision in anything.

    I mean it’s always good to listen to what they have to say, but you have to form your own opinion and make your own decisions.

    Maybe he’ll turn out to not good enough for you. Or maybe he’s the love of your life.

    Go for it.

    tomfester
    tomfester
    Participant
    April 9, 2018 at 11:56 am #169928

    you really have to experience this one yourself. you’ll never be able to really have an opinion on this guy if you let other people have control over your love life. sometimes the people you expect the least to be good to you, are the ones you fall in love with the hardest. And in the end, it could all be one happy story. But the key is to go and experience it. Don’t let other people tell you what to do.

    20F
    20F
    Participant
    April 9, 2018 at 2:52 pm #169934

    I forgot to mention that my family financially supports me 100%.

    olimtin
    olimtin
    Participant
    April 10, 2018 at 3:41 am #169961

    First take a decision on your own. Then you should talk to your mom or dad (whoever your more close to) about this and make them understand why you took it and why it is right from your perspective. I’m sure they’ll understand 🙂

    GD247
    GD247
    Participant
    April 16, 2018 at 2:47 am #170613

    Yes give him a shot and make sure not to have sex with him the first date?
    Hold off on that. As for your family, just tell them you’re going on a date. Tell the, his name and where you’re going and that it’s your love life. Talk to them, but do not argue. Just calmly tell them it’s time for you to date…but don’t tell them he’s from tinder lol

    Jason93
    Jason93
    Participant
    April 16, 2018 at 9:07 am #170620

    Give it a shot. There’s no way you can know if your family will like him if you don’t truly know him. Honestly though I think as long as he makes you happy and your family can see that they’ll probably be ok with him. Trust your judgement, if you think he’s awesome why wouldn’t others?

    20F
    20F
    Participant
    April 20, 2018 at 9:13 am #171147

    Okay so update, I still haven’t met him yet, but I have recently found out that his family might have a white-collar crime. I’m nervous that since he’s from my town people will know about it and that I will be judged. More importantly I’m scared my family will find out and freak out. I am also scared because he doesn’t think it was their fault, he is still close to his family even tho he’s father is in jail. WHAT SHOULD I DO? i still like him but i think that i could do better honestly. But what if i stop talking to him and miss out on the potential love of my life?

    chris1433
    chris1433
    Participant
    April 20, 2018 at 9:13 pm #171338
    Reply To: Am I over thinking/worrying?

    Just because they financially support you does not mean you aren’t entitled to some form of privacy, go out with him and tell them when you want. It’s your life stop waiting and do what makes you happy.

    mmonroe123
    mmonroe123
    Participant
    April 21, 2018 at 7:27 pm #171344
    Reply To: Am I over thinking/worrying?

    Girl , I’m in the same boat . None of my family , not even my sisters, have met anyone I’ve been serious about. I’m 21 (hopefully this makes you feel better 😌)My parents are strict, especially my dad and he never mentioned boys growing up even till this day(yes it was that bad😂), I’m seeing someone right now and know that if we do get serious, he will meet my family. I think I used to stress about this a lot, but now I’m more selfish in a way. Irregardless of what anyone thinks as long as you are happy and safe that’s all that should matter. Eventually this is somthing that you will have to approach and if this guy really cares he will make sure your ok every step of the way