Am I the only guy who feels this way?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Am I the only guy who feels this way?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    justin w
    justin w
    Participant
    July 25, 2014 at 4:14 pm #58264

    I was dating a girl for about a month. Everything was going good or so I thought then one day she just stopped texting me and talking to me for no reason. No explanation, she told me she was not stable right now and was in a bad place. I left her alone for three weeks and still nothing. I think as soon as I showed too much interest she decided she didn’t have any interest in me anymore. Idk but it hurt and it still does. I guess that’s not the type of girl I want to be with though, someone that just disappears for no reason so I should be thankful that it was only a month. I just can’t stop thinking to myself when am I gonna meet a girl that actually gives a s… About me? I’m 33 years old:(

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    July 25, 2014 at 4:15 pm #58265

    Justin! Than you soooo much! You have no idea what wonderful timing you have. I am a bit on the grumpy side right now and your appreciation just made me smile sooooooo big! What you said gave me exactly what I needed right now to get back up and do what I gotta do. You’re wonderful!

    justin w
    justin w
    Participant
    July 25, 2014 at 4:16 pm #58266

    Thank you:) glad I could make you smile!!!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    July 25, 2014 at 4:45 pm #58273

    Justin….I’m going to say something a bit different to you than what I’ve said a million other times throughout these posts regarding the same exact issue.

    I will re-iterate though….you are correct…you do not want someone in your life who handles you in that manner. If she disappeared already, you know exactly what she would do to you in the future whenever something got challenging, so consider this a “rescue”. Better now than bonding with her and loving her only to have her walk out on you then!

    In regards to when are you going to find someone who gives a shit about you…and that you are 33. Hahaha! I have had this conversation with myself and my support system a million times and it always gets brought back to me. First and foremost, I have to make sure I give a sh*%& about myself first before I ask someone else to. I always find areas of my low self esteem that could be improved upon. I view life like this…the people that show up in my life are there to serve

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    July 25, 2014 at 4:52 pm #58275

    as a reflection for me. If I keep having men show up that are rejecting, not honest, like to play games, first it gives me practice to say “no…this is not what I want” and I close the door very quickly. Second, it tells me there is something in me that is attracting these type of experiences, so I take a look at that. Third, the moment I start getting frustrated that I am 40 and still have not found someone to match me, that’s the moment I know I am not connected to myself. When I start to seek out a man, I know that I am wanting him to meet my needs and fill my desire for complete happiness because I am not doing that for myself. THAT IS NOT A HEALTHY SPACE to find someone. I am off-center when I feel that way. Those are the times that life tends to be a bit more challenging or when I may be dealing with rejection or other related issues. It’s the idea that “I will be happy when….” When I am content and complete just the way things are, there is peace, joy and happiness

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    July 25, 2014 at 4:56 pm #58278

    and if someone shows up to ADD to that (not complete that in me) then I know it’s a higher level of relationship. I am not attracting someone out of neediness, I am attracting someone out of a clear space.

    Have patience and work yourself into the space that life is glorious just as it is and whether 33 or 53, you feel complete without a woman. If a woman shows up, she will compliment your life, not fill the holes. Approaching your life from this perspective really helps you become more healthy and balanced and connected to yourself. Like attracts like right? So the healthier you are, the more you will attract a lady who is healthier. Hope this all makes sense and helps!

    justin w
    justin w
    Participant
    July 25, 2014 at 5:00 pm #58280

    I know you’re right, there are things I need to work on for myself. I’m not happy with myself and I keep wanting to find someone thinking they will fill that void and they do temporarily until it ends then I’m left heartbroken and lost. I need to get to the point where I’m content and happy with myself! How have you not found anyone? I can’t even wrap my mind around that! You are so intelligent, mature and down to earth. You deserve a good man and you’ll def find it:))))

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    July 25, 2014 at 5:13 pm #58282

    I’m so glad you recognize all of that in yourself. That’s a start! Now the hard part is….actually DOING something about it. I suppose that is why I haven’t really found someone yet. I am quite the do-er. I take a lot of action for my healing vs. just talking about it or reading about it (which I do a lot of as well). The bummer part is, as I have become more and more healthy and clear, the less choices I have. Few people take the road less traveled. But it’s okay. Whoever ends up matching me….well let’s just say it is going to be one kickass, incredible, soulful and passionate relationship! I’m willing to wait as long as I need to for that!

    LSUPeart
    LSUPeart
    Participant
    July 25, 2014 at 11:39 pm #58305

    Go meet a girl at church..

    justin w
    justin w
    Participant
    July 28, 2014 at 8:49 am #58283

    Totally agree:)))

    justin w
    justin w
    Participant
    July 28, 2014 at 8:49 am #58302

    Thank you Heidi! You’re very inspiring and everything you say is so true. I made a fool out of myself acting so desperate with this last girl but you made me realize it’s ok. Life goes on and don’t take things so personal. I’ve been really down on myself with the constant self talk….what did I do wrong? Why is she treating me like this I’ve been nothing but good to her. You’ve made me realize that there are a lot of people out there that play games and then there are women out there like yourself and it gives me hope:)

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