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AvalancheParticipantMarch 30, 2017 at 1:49 pm #131637
Help me with the approaching! 🙂
Hi guys, I need your help with this one. There is girl in my college, we dont have any classes together. When I see her, I always catch her looking at me. Now I want to approach her, but I just dont know how. Sometimes we meet on the corridor, or we travel in the elevator, but we dont say hello, since we barely know each other.
She is beautiful and confident, and I just dont want to mess anything up if I approach her. I was advised to initiate a talk, to comment on some random stuff or just to ask something, but for me it is wierd, and the situation is also not comfortable to ask something just from all the sudden. I have no idea what to say, how to initiate anything, in order not to make myself look like a psycho yet to get closer to her.
What do you say guys, girls?
n3000ParticipantApril 2, 2017 at 8:04 am #131814
Next time your, standing next to her or cross her path. Just say something very casual and easy to break the ice. Even just ‘hey how are you’ or ‘hey, did you see ….something about college’ anything really. this will start a converstaion and then you can build from there. Even if the first interaction is very brief, it will make it easier next time you see her.
Your at the same collage there is no pressure, you also have a lot of things to talk about…teachers, other students, classes anything really.
Just go for it! it can be really nerve raking, but its worth it….as you never know she might just be waiting for you to say something!
Trust me, if you dont you’ll regret it !
jessParticipantApril 3, 2017 at 2:16 pm #131911
I agree with n3000, like you’re both studying so there is bound to be something you can talk about! Keep a positive mind and go for it! Girls understand that it can be a little nerve wracking, but go for it! You never know, she may feel the same way back?
richiroParticipantApril 4, 2017 at 12:06 pm #132024
small talk.. small talk.. small talk.
look back, meet eyes.. smile.. say ‘hi’.. ask her how she’s doing today.
what really helps is to notice something about her and comment on it (it doens’t have to be a compliment at all…)
ex. i had gotten into watches after not wearing a watch for years. and so i did a lot of looking on amazon etc. well an office mate (really cool.. really cute – but not somebody i wanted to date).. i just so happened to notice her watdh and i said, “cool watch! what is it and where did you find it?”
BOOM. we were talking for like 30 mins or so and haveing a great time. she never fails to notice me and give me an enthusiastic “hey!” when i’m in her office or area again helping others.
if i saw her as somebody i wanted to date, we were both single, we kept talking more.. then maybe that wouldve lead to an easy “ask out” for a date at some point.
richiroParticipantApril 4, 2017 at 12:09 pm #132025
oh btw.. if oyu’re not feeling comfy.. yo don’t have to do it all at once.. build it up.. ramp it up.
maybe starts with meeting eyes and smiling a coulpe times
then maybe you transition that to “hi”
then maybe it’s a “hi… how are you doing today?”
then maybe “hi.. how was your weekend?”
but.. since she’s arleady eyeing you.. ideally youc an do it all at once.. (that’s always best.. to show confidence and self-assuredness).
BlazeParticipantApril 5, 2017 at 11:32 am #132167
Start practicing your approach with everyone you meet until it becomes easy to talk to everyone.
Start simple, smile at people and they will smile back.
Say hello and the ones that are interested in talking to you will say hello back.
Ask them how their day is going. It’s a beautiful day out isn’t it? Like the other posters start with small talk.
Be the man and say hello to her. You already know she is interested in talking to you because she is looking at you. It sounds like you truly want to get to know her more. Tell her that. I would love to get to know you some more. When would you be free to get some drinks, dinner, etc?
Go for it, it is what you want!
H8SocietyReality217ParticipantFebruary 6, 2018 at 7:21 am #164577
men approaching women will probably, more than likely, remain the norm until our Sun expires and incinerates the Earth
abcdlmnopParticipantFebruary 6, 2018 at 4:00 pm #164735
I had this problem with one girl once upon a time and literally everything that came out of my mouth was ridiculous when trying to talk to her.
I had to realize that she is another human being and that we didn’t really know each other at all. I was developing a MAJOr crush on her, and in my spare time ‘imagining’ what she must be like, seemingly so perfect and all. If this is happening to you, you have to calm down a little and approach her very openly and from a cool and collected place.
whatevssParticipantFebruary 6, 2018 at 5:07 pm #164756
if you’re not feeling comfortable engaging in a direct conversation right away, you could maybe add her on social media to make it easier. But whatever you do, just be you, she may seem to you like the ideal girl etc but she’s human just like you and you just need to act natural and not overthink it
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