Asexual and crush on best friend

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Asexual and crush on best friend

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    July 7, 2020 at 2:31 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    GreenMonch
    GreenMonch
    Participant
    February 23, 2020 at 3:49 pm #230323
    Asexual and crush on best friend

    First of all: I’m asexual and very sure of it. My romantic orientation not so much. I’ve had a relationship with a guy as a teenager and know one hundred percent that I had no romantic feelings for him. I’ve been pretty sure I want a relationship with a woman for a while now and my best friend from high school who is pansexual feels different than my other friends. I know for sure that I love her. And that she loves me, We’ve told each other. As a friend. And there’s part of the issue: She knows I’m asexual and wouldn’t want to make me uncomfortable by approaching me romantically. So even if she had feelings for me, she would probably hide them to not hurt me. That’s part of the dilemma. The other side is that I am not a hundred percent sure I wouldn’t feel the same in a relationship with her as I did in a relationship with a guy. And she could never be one to try out for me, because I already have strong feelings for her and can’t lose her as a friend.

    GreenMonch
    GreenMonch
    Participant
    February 23, 2020 at 3:53 pm #230325

    On the other hand, I cannot imagine my life without her. I want to share a home with her and have imagined that many times and even planned a shared apartment with her once. She is the one person I would want to share my every thoughts with and never do anything without her. I’ve felt like that for a long time and this is the only thing I’m keeping from her. I wouldn’t want to start a relationship and then realise too late that that wasn’t what I wanted all along and destroy everything. These feelings are new to me and I’m just afraid I would feel obligated to be in a relationship without real feelings like I was last.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 24, 2020 at 4:57 pm #230379

    When in doubt do nothing!

    It makes no sense to pull anyone into anything if you really don’t know what it is you want.
    You’re not ready to love someone else until you know yourself, love yourself, and trust yourself.

    Another thing you’re not considering is just maybe she loves you as a “friend” and not romantically!
    Odds are if you both were really “into each other” one of you would have made a move.
    It’s not as if you’re in second grade and both of you are “scared” to look each other in the eyes.

    ” I cannot imagine my life without her. I want to share a home with her…”
    That will NEVER happen unless you muster up the courage to ask her out on a date. (Not HANG OUT!)

    In order for (her) to be “the one” (she) would have to see (you) as being “the one”.
    At the very least a “soulmate” is someone who actually wants to be with you!

    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!

    You’ve got nothing to lose!