Attempt to initiate long distance or wait? Advice needed.

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Attempt to initiate long distance or wait? Advice needed.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    starcrossedthrow
    starcrossedthrow
    Participant
    November 18, 2018 at 7:12 pm #189629
    Attempt to initiate long distance or wait? Advice needed.

    I [22,M] have been not having much luck in the dating world recently and it has been tempting me to settle. I go on dates and generally they go well enough, but I have yet to find someone I care about long term. Lately, I have been wanting a serious relationship quite badly and it has almost made me just settle on whoever wants me, but I have not because my heart hasn’t been in it.

    This weekend I was visiting another city that is a plane ride away and met up with an old friend [22,F]. We share the same hometown but she moved away. Somewhat by accident I ended up having the best time on a date I have in years and I feel very confused. Part of me feels very affirmed because dating here would not feel like settling at all, quite the contrary. It was exciting, and the feeling was mutual. But, because of the distance it will be hard to get rooted in a real relationship. Neither of us are in a position to be able to travel back and forth very often.

    starcrossedthrow
    starcrossedthrow
    Participant
    November 18, 2018 at 7:13 pm #189630

    I had a great time. But when I continue to talk to her how forthcoming should I be? If she lived close to me I would not confess major feelings at this point, obviously, but I would certainly want to keep hanging out. I feel like the distance requires a seriousness that is premature if I say how much it meant to me. But then again if I understate it and we just text a bit then the magic of this weekend kind of dies.

    I can see a real relationship with this girl, should I tell her that straight up after one real date because of the distance or would it be better to just keep chatting and see where we end up? I think she is equally into me at this point, but the thought of taking on a serious long distance thing could scare her away because it is admittedly bold and I’m not sure I can do that either. I just wish this could run its course locally because it feels so right in my gut.

    BooksSleepGuy7
    BooksSleepGuy7
    Participant
    November 19, 2018 at 3:06 am #189635

    Try harder

    starcrossedthrow
    starcrossedthrow
    Participant
    November 19, 2018 at 6:53 am #189631

    How should I play this? I do not want to overstep but I do not want to dismiss the notion of a future either. I could also just take this as an affirmation that the butterflies exist, but I’m afraid that will make me chase them more, but hey, settling is pretty awful as an idea anyway. What do you think?