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Gvnm4ParticipantOctober 21, 2015 at 3:34 am #87142
I met this really nice guy I had 3 dates with. The first date was great and he specifically said that he really wants to see me again and I felt the same way, which I told him.
During the second date we kissed, hold hands and later made out in my car. The night ended with him saying that he only wants to be friends.
However the day before the next date he said that “he’s really looking forward to it”
The third date was at his place. We watched movies and snuggled up for most of the time, but he did not want to kiss. That was pretty much the only thing he didn’t want to do, because later on we had sex and I’m more or less sure we both enjoyed it. Still, no kissing.
I suspect that he doesn’t have that many friends and his relationships might not have been that successful. So it would make sense that he’d opt for a friendship instead of a relationship (which will eventually end…).
Currently, I’m following the usual steps “to get out of the friendzone”. Any other advice?
msmith0741ParticipantOctober 22, 2015 at 5:12 am #87178
To be completely honest it sounds like he’s using you, doesn’t want commitment, and wants more a friends with benefits type deal. What do you want? If you want a relationship, take into consideration that he doesn’t even have the guts to be straight forward wth you and that his words contradict his actions. Doesn’t seem like he’s relationship worthy, but talk to him first, just be blunt about your curiosity, don’t let him play mind games with you unless that’s what you’re into lol. Best of luck 🙂
TheBigOParticipantOctober 22, 2015 at 9:11 am #87173
As a guy, I think he might be taking advantage of you. It’s messed up, but a guy will do some messed up things if he is lonely. What you need to do is lay it out straight. Don’t let him have sex with you if it seems like he’s not interested in a relationship. (Assuming thats what you’re looking for). Tell him that you really like him, but if he wants to keep interacting with you on dates and sexually, than he has to actually commit to that, rather than just taking advantage of you which may lead to an friends with benefits situation which is NOT what you want if you actually want a relationship.
Let me know how it goes
Gvnm4ParticipantOctober 22, 2015 at 11:55 am #87211
Thanks for the advice guys. Yesterday I got more or less confirmation that he might be suffering from Asperger syndrome, which slightly complicates the situation. I can’t say I’m 100% sure because he hasn’t actually told me. But the information I got should be accurate.
I’m sure this explains some of his behaviour but reinforces the fact that he doesn’t want a relationship. For different reason maybe, not sure…
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