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What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!February 5, 2019 at 12:22 pm #194236
So i met this girl for a second date and everything seemed going great. Naturally things weren’t going as great as i thought since at the end she said: “just don’t expect too much”
I said i didn’t expect anything, just fun. Of course that was a lie.
I kissed her on the lips and told her to contact me and left.
What should you reply? And what does it exactly mean? All the time she was giving me all the signs of interest and now this?
“don’t expect too much” = Don’t think you can sleep with me/ Don’t expect relationship/ I have low self esteem and am insecure
Is it adviced to never contact her again?February 7, 2019 at 10:23 am #194374
I read your post and would like to assist you, but I would need some background information to properly do this. Kindly provide the following so I can help you”
1. What is your age?
2. What is your relationship history?
3. What are your thoughts and feelings as to why you selected the name Alcoholoc-69-X?
4. You are in the very beginning stages of getting to know a new woman, why are you so preoccupied with her saying “just don’t expect too much?
I look forward to reading your reply and giving you appropriate feedback.
GJFebruary 8, 2019 at 7:33 am #194446
Thanks for your reply! 🙂
I’m a 24 years old guy! I’ve had different relationships over the past and am now dating a lot to gain more knowledge on relationships, love and differences betweet men and women. I want to learn more about it so i can meet the right people and not lose more time with useless relationships.
The name is just an inside joke i have with friends. I do not drink alcohol.
I strongly believe it’s best to put an effort into women that are really into you. If there not, you will try things and behave in a certain way that will cause you to “lose your game” more easily.
I really liked this girl but at the end she confused me so i’ve been analyzing the situation. I guess i showed to much signs of interest and thus lost some points. maybe she meant she has a low self esteem, maybe it’s her way of saying she doesn’t want me. It’s been a week and she hasn’t contacted me. What are your thoughts on that?
ValenGSBParticipantFebruary 9, 2019 at 3:33 am #194524
It seems like it, but after you kissed her how did she react? Did she say anything after?February 9, 2019 at 2:12 pm #194540
I can’t remember exactly.
she said: “can i kiss you or would that be inappropriate?”
me joking: “yes that would be inappropriate”
we kissed until she smiled saying: “i thought it was innappropriate”
she kissed me again.
2. me saying: contact me
3. she nodding but not really saying anything
4.i stood there for a few seconds and left
Anyway: It’s been more than a weekFebruary 10, 2019 at 9:44 am #194561
Thank you for the background information. It is very helpful for us to get a better understanding of you and to provide you with appropriate feedback to assist you with your current situation.
I agree with you that to develop the skills to navigate the process of dating and the development of healthy relationships requires knowledge and experience. However there are many ways to go about this. It all depends on what kind of relationship you are looking for. If you are just looking for quick sex with many partners that is one direction. If you are looking for a relationship with that special person that leads to exclusivity, and commitment, that’s another direction.February 10, 2019 at 9:50 am #194564
Alcoholic-69-X, to assist you with what you have presented in this post I still need a little more information. Kindly reflect on and answer the following:
1. Twenty-four years is relatively a young age. When you shared “I’m a 24 years old guy! I’ve had different relationships over the past” I have no idea about these relationships.
a. How long were you with any one woman?
b. how and why did these relationships end?
c. how did you feel towards these women?
d. Were you sexually intimate?
2. In your reply “I strongly believe it’s best to put an effort into women that are really into you. If there not, you will try things and behave in a certain way that will cause you to “lose your game” more easily.,” what do you mean “LOSE YOUR GAME?”
3. On this last date the woman shared “I have low self esteem and am insecure.” Are you attracted to this type of woman? If yes why?February 10, 2019 at 9:51 am #194565
4.If you are not attracted to a woman who struggles to love herself why are you unsure whether to keep dating her or move on to another, perhaps healthier woman?
I look forward to your replies and continuing to assist you?
garyjay60February 11, 2019 at 11:46 am #194696
Thanks for the interesting replies! Finally someone who’s answering something on this forum!
some more info on me then:
a) My last and longest relationship lasted 1 year and 6 months give or take. Since i was 16 years old I’ve had multiple more or less serious relationships (sexual).
Obviously all of them ended.
b)Too many reasons why to explain. I feel that i was always “needy” in some way. Incapable of being alone for longer periods of time and looking for female validation. Meaning that i sometimes got in relationships too quickly or with the wrong person.
c) I loved all of them but that doesn’t mean i was “in love” all the time.February 11, 2019 at 11:50 am #194697
“Losing your game” = Losing confidence when interacting with someone you find attractive because your uncertain of where you stand. Usually your behaviour gives away too many signs of interest or commitment to the other person therefore giving the impression you are needy and making you less attractive.February 11, 2019 at 11:58 am #194700
3. She didn’t say she had low self esteem. this is just a meaning i gave to her phrase: “Just don’t expect too much” But is is true that in the past i’ve dated woman with “emotional problems”. And yes i believe that in some way i am attracted to this. Maybe i have a desire to “save” them and therefore feel needed. But by now i’ve learned that you can’t save other people and that this is basically a waste of time.
Also: People with a “dark side” give me a more authentic, complete impression of a human being. Rather then someone giggling time away talking about superficial nonsense all the time.
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