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traybParticipantSeptember 10, 2014 at 2:37 am #61239
Hi guys, I am with my boyfriend a year now and we live together, I have caught him sexting girls in the past and he promised he would never do it again and that was in the past, but months down the line he was doing it again. He has been talking to this girl he knows through the whole relationship, i know she is not the kind of girl to sext, but why does he find the need to talk to her. He has cried and cried to me saying he can’t live without me and he has a problem with texting and that the guilt will kill him, i think that is stopping me from leaving. Like if he didn’t apologise and say whatever It would probably be easier for me to wash away. I seen a text message to an escort and he promised it was just a text and he wouldn’t actually physically touch anybody, so i left him anyway, and he begged and pleaded so much that after a week I came back. Then I realised he had tested that girl when I left, and a week later made a sexy comment to her in a text. How to i get up and leave
QuirksParticipantSeptember 13, 2014 at 4:54 pm #61923
You need to leave. Plan to cut all ties. Find a new apartment for yourself. (Hopefully he is on the lease of your current apartment?)
Move your stuff out some time when he isn’t around. Have a friend, or several friends come over to make it as quick as possible. Anything you forget at this point will be gone.
Be brief, “I’m sorry, it’s over”. Cut all ties for a while (block his phone number, unfriend on social media, don’t reply to emails from him). Maybe in 6-12 months if you want to try talking again you can, but probably by that point you won’t even think about him.
Find a new hobby, go on an adventure, make sure to spend some time on “you”, it’s really the best way to get over a relationship and re-ground yourself.
KittyHammerParticipantSeptember 13, 2014 at 6:19 pm #61927
Curious, did you two ever discussed what are you preferences upfront?
This seems like he might be the type that dates multiple women yet hasn’t come to terms out of guilt. Based on your situation; it appears he mislead you (not on purpose) on his dating preference.
Since he does not have the discipline to commit only to you…you have two choices:
A) Stay with him knowing he will deceive you and abuse your trust until you can’t handle it after losing more of your limited time with him.
B) Just leave knowing he will be busy. Ignore his attempts to trap you and choose a better guy for next time.
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