Breakup thoughts


Breakup thoughts

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    April 1, 2018 at 2:21 am #169243
    Breakup thoughts

    Hi, i am 21 year old male, fairly inexperienced in relationships. Thanks in advance if you took you’re time to try and give me some advice.

    I was in a relationship for 1.5 years, we barely had fights, we both felt very honest and loved by each other, i helped her through some hard times with her family, all seemed fine to me.

    A week ago she cut me with infamous “i need some space i don’t know what to do, i love you so much but i feel anxious”. At that time i asked if she wanted to break up, she said no, but didn’t know what to do. I was acting very calm but i expressed that i’m sad about it. I told her i wished this has never happened but since it did, i think i can’t be with her anymore. She just sat and said nothing useful. I picked some stuff from her place and left.

    Soon i realized some stuff shes been telling me at times, like i can’t teach you to be a man, it must be you, i feel like nothing is really going on etc. But i never seemed to acknowledge that up until now (she really gave me a nice blow in the face haha..). I noticed a wasn’t really in our relationship with my mind because i kept forgetting some important stuff she’s doing and dates etc.. Mainly it was because i just started with software engineering and was really into it.

    We saw eachother at our university and talked normaly, she had some outburst of love where she repeatedly asked me if i love her and told me that i must tell that to her all the time. I said i did but i wanted her to respect our decision to keep apart for some time.

    Her friends initiated a talk with me about all of it, they told me that she’d been crying all the time and that they think we will get to the same conclusion because we love eachother very much and that this is good for our relationship (i never seemed to others like i need some comfort so i don’t think that’s what they were doing ).

    Throughout this last week we kept texting more or less depending on the day, and i asked her out to talk 2 times and we did, last time we kissed and acted all loving but at the end she said she still didn’t realize anything and that she can’t promise we will get back together. I told her that’s okay and that i agreed. She also asked if i met anyone, and that it’s okay to. I said no and asked her the same, she said that she didn’t go out with anyone because she wasn’t attracted to anyone yet.

    After that last date we went a whole day without hearing from eachother and it was a mess for me. I love her personality and seemed to realize that even more now that we are apart. I am willing to do the right thing and save our relationship and be a man that she want’s me to be since i enjoy making her feel secure with me (which i think i did poor job at tbh). How can I be a more manly in order to have healthy relationships in the future or to fix my situation?