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steph1935ParticipantNovember 28, 2015 at 9:14 am #89072
Last week he broke up with me after a year of dating because he wasn’t happy anymore .We had a beautiful relationship ,but for the last month he wasn’t himself anymore and asked me to change ,but I didn’t so he ended it over a facebook message. I was really angry that after all we’ve been together he didn’t broke up with me face to face so I said some really hurtful thinks .I told him that he never deserved me and that I was sorry I wasted all those years being his friend. Now , after a week it hit me . I now realised what he ment when he wanted me to change . I get so defensive , every time someone makes me feel bad I say the most harmful things just so they feel the same way I do . I lost a lot of people so far and I guess I have trust issues because of it.I apologised for the things I said and told him I wanted to stay friends but he said he is to upset with me . What should I do ? I really love him and I want him back.
GWGParticipantNovember 28, 2015 at 3:12 pm #89089
This right here is a life lesson for you. The way you blew up at him and tried to hurt him after he hurt you “burned the bridge” so to speak. He may not want to get involved in a situation like that again. Sounds like you should work on yourself (trust issues/defense mechanisms) before you get with someone else. You saying you realized what you said was hurtful is a very mature and big step – but find out your limits – what makes you explode and what you can take. Take care of yourself before you think you can take someone else on in your life
Christy_35ParticipantDecember 3, 2015 at 1:14 pm #89355
I agree with GWG, you know what you did and how to change. It’s really only been a week, so maybe just focus on you and work on changing. He’s not going to come back if you are still the same person. I don’t know what went on over the past month or what pushed him over the edge that you guys were not able to work through it or you didn’t have time to work on it in the relationship. There might be some communication issues you all have in your relationship that it wasn’t discussed sooner? Maybe it’s bothered him for a while and just never said anything. Ending it over facebook message also shows you how much he didn’t want a confrontation. For a year-long relationship, he doesn’t seem very mature. Work on yourself, you might be able to reconnect and start things up again. Or you won’t and you’ll be ready for the next one.
BexSandersParticipantDecember 3, 2015 at 9:48 pm #89418
I’m dealing with a similar situation regarding my boyfriend of five years. Since the split, almost a month ago, I’ve been trying to focus on making myself happy. Meeting new people. Trying to expand my connections in this world. There will always be someone out there that is willing to love you. You just have to take the necessary risks in life to find them. If it is meant to be, the one that walked away will come back when you’re bettering yourself & it’ll be up to you whether to accept what they bring to table or move on for the sake of yourself.
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