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JacobStevensParticipantDecember 30, 2018 at 2:06 pm #191759
I want to start out and say that I’m in love with my girlfriend but I have a lot of trust issues with her. When we first started going on dates I found out she was talking to other guys behind my back, lying to me about who they were, communicating to ex boyfriends, snap chatting random guys, hiding me from social media, and even borrowing money from another guy. I put her in her place when I found out about these things..but I forgave her because I really liked her and shortly after we officially started dating.
Now we have been dating for 6 months and since our fight she hasn’t talked to anyone behind my back, but randomly I found out one day that she never graduated college and has been lying to me. She’s put me in a place where I don’t know what to believe and it’s hard for me to enjoy the good times we have anymore. There’s a lot of good to our relationship but every once in a while I accidentally start fights because I don’t trust her. How can I gain trust again?
emkatParticipantDecember 30, 2018 at 10:35 pm #191764
Why is she giving you such a bad vibe in the first place? To me, she doesn’t seem completely honest with you or herself as well. Rather than worrying about how to gain trust again, I’d worry about whether if she’s worth my sanity because you doubt her every once in a while. If your doubts aren’t resolved, then I don’t believe your relationship will get any better unless she’s willing to communicate honestly with you. If she’s unable to do so…well. You know what kind of person she is then, and you have to let her go.
dashingscorpioParticipantJanuary 1, 2019 at 10:32 pm #191805
“I found out she was talking to other guys behind my back, lying to me about who they were, communicating to ex boyfriends, snap chatting random guys, hiding me from social media, and even borrowing money from another guy”
“I found out one day that she never graduated college and has been lying to me.”
“I accidentally start fights because I don’t trust her. How can I gain trust again?”
YOU don’t have “trust issues”. You’re dating a LIAR!
Your real issue is lying is a “deal breaker” for You BUT you want to keep dating her!
As a lyric from an old hit song goes: “I hate myself for loving you!”
The reason why you start fights is because you’re mad at yourself for not being able to walk away.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships.
We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us. Choose wisely!
Suffering is optional.
“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 4 days ago by dashingscorpio.
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