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RickmeerParticipantJanuary 1, 2018 at 9:42 am #161147
Whenever I date a girl I like, I can’t stop the voice in my head that seeks the girl’s approval, rather than just living in the present moment and having fun. I see other guys going on dates with pretty girls, even guys much younger and less experienced than me, and I just don’t know how they do it. I don’t know what I’m lacking in my life that keeps me having this fearful mindset when on a date. Of course the girl can sense the unnatural feeling and I screw up the date. So I don’t know what I need to change in order to overcome this. I do all kinds of self improvement things, meditation, etc and I’ve been at it for 3 years. I’ve had a few good dates with girls I was into and I just simply had a good, indifferent mindset at those times. But I just don’t know how to adapt that mindset again.
For example I was on a date, and started having that fearful mindset, so I had to go to the bathroom, do some breathing, and remind myself “hey, I’m on a date with a pretty girl just have fun!” I came back and was enjoying myself for a while, but then the same feeling of fear came back.
I’d really appreciate any advice on this as I don’t want to mess up another date!
ResonatingImperfectionParticipantJanuary 1, 2018 at 1:00 pm #161153
Everybody’s different, but what would work for me in this situation is to simply accept the possibility of failure and acknowledge that it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Yeah, maybe this particular date won”t work out, but it’s okay if it doesn’t, because tomorrow is a new day and Tinder never runs dry. Once I got myself into that mindset, I’d feel like the stakes are much lower, and I’d have a much easier time relaxing.
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