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I’m trying not be naïve. I’m usually rational but the situation I’m in feels absurd. I met this girl 4 months ago and we’ve been almost inseparable since. She’s aware that I’m a lesbian. I’m extremely open about my feelings to the point of directly stating that I find her attractive and she makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I have never sensed her even slightly distancing herself from them. We have mutual friends who say that it’s extremely obvious that I’m attracted to her and have also unanimously said she seems to obviously be into me.
Anyway, our friendship has slowly progressed to the point where we act more romantic than I’ve even been with exes. For example we say I love you on repeat, talk almost every day, write poetry for/about each other, routinely read books beside each other in bed and then cuddle and nap. She takes me out to fancy restaurants that are intended for people to go to on anniversaries and insists on paying the whole bill. Then I pay the next time.February 27, 2018 at 10:05 pm #166540
She’s told me she wants me to call her by her name more often because it’s “more intimate”. Her eyes light up whenever I say it and she gets all openly sappy. We call each other pet names, we flirt like crazy, she blushes all the time. She told me about a dream where she walked into where I work and saw I was reading so she looked away trying not to stare but then glanced over and I was giving her a “coy” smile and she got butterflies. In another dream she was nervous to speak in front of a big crowd so I held her hand under the table to calm her and she won best presentation.
She apologized for mentioning an ex once. She said I make her smile and feel genuinely loved 1000% of the time, that her smiles around me are uncontrollable. We literally routinely exchange nerdy pickup lines. The list goes on and on. Point is I was almost certain that she was attracted to me too based on it all. I saw absolutely no signs that would make me doubt it and usually would pick up on thoFebruary 28, 2018 at 9:01 am #166541
those well. So I asked if she was attracted to me the way I am to her. She hesitated and said she doesn’t feel that way and never meant to make me think that.
Either she’s not as kind as I thought she was and was toying with my feelings or she does feel for me but doesn’t want to say it. (I think with everything I’ve said/done she must’ve known.) She’s Christian and her parents are really strict, she recently told me about a nightmare that sounded like it was about not having their approval or being what they want her to be. I think this may have something to do with it but don’t want to waste my time with wishful thinking if I should just be processing what she said and moving on. But if I’m to move on I don’t know how to –– I don’t know if I should be upset that she seems to have led me on, and I don’t think it’s safe for me to continue being so intimate with her if I have feelings. I do want to avoid hurting her but think I need to distance myself. Help?
NoobToLoveParticipantMarch 12, 2018 at 8:52 am #167201
No offense, but i think she’s the one in denial. I acted just like her when i was afraid. I wanted to be super close but not cross the line because then i would have to admit to myself and that was the hardest part. I say just let her know that its not okay to lead you on like this and if she wants a strict friendship then their are just some things you guys wont be able to do anymore.
lostlesbianproblemsParticipantNovember 24, 2018 at 7:58 pm #189755
I am at a similar situation. It truly does sound like she is into you, and If she is not, then she is a VERY needy girl and loves you way too much as a friend. But all signs are there. I think you should distance yourself and maybe that Will make her realize her feelings for you.
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