Can’t tell if she is interested

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Can’t tell if she is interested

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Soorena123
    Soorena123
    Participant
    January 3, 2020 at 10:17 pm #227262
    Can’t tell if she is interested

    So I have known this girl since we were kids and recently I broke up with my ex of 10 years. The girl and I have almost everything in common and I think she likes me based on some things that I observed. She is also super shy. At a family event I mentioned that I’m into metal and that I’m not much of a dancer and she said she likes metal too. A few days later I posted on Instagram a picture of my favorite bands album and then a few days after that I was again at a family event and she came up to me and showed a picture of 5 albums she bought. I noticed she was holding my favorite bands album (different album than I posted) in her hand in the picture. Now here is where things get interesting I checked the other 4 albums and there is no way on earth that anyone listens to this garbage, it’s like some cult growling nonsense. My guess is she was trying to get my attention with the picture.

    Soorena123
    Soorena123
    Participant
    January 3, 2020 at 10:21 pm #227263

    I drew her a nice drawing and sent it to her and she said she didn’t know I draw. I told her theres a lot she doesn’t know about me and that I will give her the drawing in person when I see her next and that I’ll gladly tell her more about myself if she’s interested. Anyways now I noticed that her messages are very short and she’s just not trying to extend the conversation. I don’t know what to do at this point and if my hunch was right or not. I can’t tell if ages just super super shy and doesn’t know what to say or she is not interested at all. She never replied back to my message since then.

    I have to also mention that I have suspected that she likes me in the past however I was in a relationship then and didn’t pursue anything.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by Soorena123 Soorena123.
    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 4, 2020 at 1:36 pm #227276

    “Can’t tell if she is interested ”
    “I told her theres a lot she doesn’t know about me..and that I’ll gladly tell her more about myself if she’s interested.”
    “Anyways now I noticed that her messages are very short and she’s just not trying to extend the conversation.”
    “She never replied back to my message since then.”

    In my opinion whenever someone has to “figure out” if someone likes them it usually means they don’t!
    Clearly from what you’ve written she is NOT romantically interested in YOU!

    People who attracted or infatuated with someone usually reply quickly as they don’t want to risk “blowing it”.
    If someone keeping their messages very short or not bothering to reply they’re not romantically interested.

    Lastly when it comes to a lot of girls/women they want to believe they can be “nice to a guy” without being hit on.
    She probably thought you were long-time “platonic friends” from childhood and all of sudden you started flirting.
    Don’t mistake lack of interest for “shyness”. Move on!

    Soorena123
    Soorena123
    Participant
    January 6, 2020 at 8:32 am #227290

    I think you’re not understanding the situation correctly. I’ve known her for almost 17 years and I know her very well. She never talks to anyone not just me. She’s very very shy since she was a kid. If she has no interest then why does she try to grab my afternoon or impress me in real life? I feel like she doesn’t know what to say and freaks out. Like when I sent her the drawing I feel like she genuinely liked it from her response but then immediately she logged off and didn’t read the rest of what I wrote until the next day.

    The thing with this is I normally would not even attempt to tell a girl I like her unless I see some hints that they’re trying to size me up or get my attention and I feel like I’m getting that with her but then not sure what to do with her shyness problem. I don’t know if messaging is the best option with her but I’m worked if I confess to her that I like her in person I’ll make her very uncomfortable.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 6, 2020 at 4:14 pm #227352

    “I’ve known her for almost 17 years and I know her very well.”
    “If she has no interest then why does she try to grab my afternoon or impress me in real life?”

    Having known someone for (17 years) surly you should know if she’s interested in you!
    Lastly you have (nothing to lose) by telling her you are romantically interested in her.

    Either tell her in person or in a phone conversation.
    Don’t text or message her! That comes off as cowardly.
    All you need to say is something along the lines of:

    “I’m not sure you are aware of this; but I’ve had a crush on you for a while.
    Would you be interested in going out for lunch or a drink this…etc.?”
    (Then shut up and let her answer.)

    Whatever you do; Don’t ask her to “Hang Out”!
    “Hanging out” is for wimps!
    Real men take girls out on dates!

    If she’s not interested in you move on. At least you took your shot.
    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!

    Best wishes!

    R55DW
    R55DW
    Participant
    January 7, 2020 at 9:22 am #227381

    Ask her out for a drink or dinner, after a couple times you should be able to tell if something romantic is developing or not… If not then move on…

    d7z46t
    d7z46t
    Participant
    January 7, 2020 at 12:58 pm #227407

    Have been through this recently. Only way is to ask. Explain how much she means, but that you have romantic interests in her. It stinks. You do risk hurting the friendship, but it will be worse to hang on just hoping. Best of luck.

    January 8, 2020 at 3:18 am #227456

    Hard to say if she likes you. I’d ask her out on a lunch date and see what happens.

    jimston77
    jimston77
    Participant
    January 11, 2020 at 10:45 am #227668

    Touch to say, you should just ask her out.