Casual fun or serious relationship?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Casual fun or serious relationship?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2019 at 1:09 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Chicagofan123
    Chicagofan123
    Participant
    May 6, 2019 at 11:30 am #199947
    Casual fun or serious relationship?

    Basically, for a few weeks this chick and I were constantly texting and going out. It felt like she was playing both sides of wanting a serious relationship and also just wanting to hook up. One night, we both forced a date and for many reasons we should have waited to to go out another night. The date was the first time it wasnt super great like the other three times and the texting have been. The next day she ended it saying she doesnt want a serious relationship (had just gotten out of one). Ive texted her since a couple times trying to get together and get on the same page with no luck of her wanting to meet. She’ll respond quickly and give me detailed answers but still wont meet up with me. What happened here that made her end it so quickly? She was so into it and then after one night I wasnt quite on my game it ends. I tried explaining I had stuff going on that affected me and that didnt work only I got sympathy. I realized after the fact that I do like her. Can I fix it?

    macky65
    macky65
    Participant
    May 6, 2019 at 9:45 pm #199983

    she probably didn’t feel a chemistry there. You could try asking her out again

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 7, 2019 at 11:07 am #200019

    She’s not into you.
    Odds are she enjoyed the texting but when it came to seeing herself with you long-term she said no way.

    “The next day she ended it saying she doesnt want a serious relationship (had just gotten out of one). ”
    Essentially she gave you the old: “It’s no you, it’s me.” speech. Trust me it’s YOU!

    Most likely you were not the ONLY guy she was engaging with especially this early on.
    Whether we admit it or not there is ALWAYS competition for any half decent looking woman.
    It’s possible another (guy) she met was more compatible or had better chemistry with her.

    The best thing you can do is honor her wishes and distance yourself.
    The last thing you want to do is come across as “desperate” or a “stalker” when someone rejects you.
    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: NEXT!

    If she really enjoyed being in touch with you, hooking up, there’s a chance she may reach out to you.
    Should this happen keep it casual and date other women. Let her pursue you.

    Chicagofan123
    Chicagofan123
    Participant
    May 7, 2019 at 12:45 pm #200030

    Is if possible she’s confused with what she wants? It seems like shes was clingy at first which turned me off thenI got use to her and started acting more like a BF then she ended it.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 8, 2019 at 4:00 pm #200130

    Life is a (personal) journey!
    It’s not about what (she) wants. It’s about what (you) want!
    The goal is to find someone who already is the kind of person you want to be with.
    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

    The first few weeks of dating is the “infatuation phase”. Some people love to fall in love with (falling in love).
    You often really don’t get to see their “authentic self” until about 4-5 months if it lasts that long.

    Learn to “enjoy” the infatuation phase for what it is but don’t get hung up.
    In fact until you’ve had “the talk” with someone about becoming an exclusive couple keep your options open!
    If you were job hunting you’d submit your resume to {multiple companies and go out on multiple interviews}.
    You wouldn’t end your job search just because you had a couple of interviews with (one company).
    The fact of the matter is until their has been (an offer made and accepted) both parties should continue their search.

    Best wishes!

    okkkorniienko
    okkkorniienko
    Participant
    May 9, 2019 at 7:47 am #200151

    I think the best way is to put casual fun to serious relationship