Clarifying that I am not interested

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Clarifying that I am not interested

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    HalBZ343498
    HalBZ343498
    Participant
    December 23, 2017 at 10:08 am #160911
    Clarifying that I am not interested

    I’m putting this in the gay dating forum for lack of a better option because it touches on someone I’m interacting with on a platonic basis who seems to be sending out signals of non-platonic interest. I would like to hear the thoughts of gay men on this one. This may take several posts – it’s a bit long.

    I’m heterosexual and have never been sexually or romantically attracted to another man. I’m also openly in a relationship with a woman (FB open) at the moment, and in love, and extremely happy with her. I have had friends who are gay, lesbian and bi and one of my exes was a bisexual woman who later went completely lesbian.

    So having said that, I met this guy online just in a FB forum (someone who lives in my area) and we’ve started talking on a regular basis about a common area of interest, which has nothing to do with relationships. I am straight and he knows I have a girlfriend… I legit enjoy talking to this guy most of the time (online) as long as we’re on this…

    HalBZ343498
    HalBZ343498
    Participant
    December 23, 2017 at 10:09 am #160912

    one subject, but whenever it veers off into discussions of men and women the guy makes me uncomfortable. I don’t care for how he refers to the women who have been in his life (usually “sluts” or “cunts”). I also don’t care for how he talks about sex.

    This guy is ostensibly straight because he has a history of involvement with women (at least, so he says) but he also started texting about his own anatomy one night, making really graphic comments about the size and shape of his own penis. In response, I said, WTF! I don’t need to know this. Then, today, he suggested that we get together and hang out. It made me really uncomfortable.

    I’m not afraid of gay attraction. My parents raised me to believe that whatever gender I’m attracted to, I should roll with it. I’ve just never felt sexually or romantically attracted to a man – that’s just now how I’m inclined or built. And I have no desire to experiment. I’m not homophobic, but I am wary of men who say they are straight…

    Jeremy23422
    Jeremy23422
    Participant
    December 23, 2017 at 9:09 pm #160925

    Finish your sentence, dude. Who say they are straight and then reveal otherwise, and come on to you? Is that what you mean? I assume you don’t mean you are afraid of straight guys in general LOL. That would be, umm, a little weird.

    HalBZ343498
    HalBZ343498
    Participant
    December 26, 2017 at 1:49 pm #160913

    …(or gay and “don’t worry, I’m not interested”) and then graphically come on to me. Which has happened several times in the past.

    I don’t know how to respond to this situation except to distance myself. I “ignored” his FB messages for now and to the hanging out request, simply said, “Not sure about that. I’m working double shifts and very busy these days.” I thought about blocking him entirely but maybe that is rude. IDK.

    HalBZ343498
    HalBZ343498
    Participant
    December 26, 2017 at 1:50 pm #160916

    and then proceed to hit on me. I went ahead and just “ignored” this guy’s comments to give him a clear message. Do I need to do anything above and beyond that?

    HalBZ343498
    HalBZ343498
    Participant
    December 26, 2017 at 1:50 pm #160920

    Darn it, i ran out of room. Well anyway, I think my point is clear enough. Love to hear people’s thoughts.