Completely lost

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Completely lost

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    September 9, 2019 at 8:20 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    npeterson
    npeterson
    Participant
    May 28, 2019 at 10:22 pm #201245
    Completely lost

    So, this is a long story and I’ll try to compress it, but I’m lost on what to do at the end of it. I met this girl at my last restaurant job, we both started at the same time with this another guy that kind of became our third wheel. We were flirty right off the bat and the third wheel told me that she was attracted to me but she didn’t know what she wanted. Anyway, this progressed to 4 or 5 nights out at bars and whatnot. After the third night out we made out before we left and things seemed good besides the fact that she was always “busy” when I asked her out on a normal date that wasn’t drinks after shift. I was coming in to work on my days off to sit with her on her break and bring her stuff like ice cream and whatnot and doing all the cute shit and kissing her goodbye. I was pretty hooked on her, but then I left that job for my current one and still made the effort to come see her every day that she worked, but she started to grow distant and I began to get worried so I asked her

    npeterson
    npeterson
    Participant
    May 28, 2019 at 10:34 pm #201246

    if everything was alright. She initially reassured me that she was good and that everything between us was perfect. I left after this and she texted me on my way home that she actually wasn’t alright so I told her to talk to me when she got off. I go back so we can talk after her shift the next day and we sit outside, evening’s nice real romantic and blahblahblah. She tells me that she’s gotta go back to minnesota for a few weeks sometime this summer to help with her sister. Then she goes on to say that she’s just got too much going on in her life to have a relationship and she’s gotta help her dad in minnesota and so on and so forth. I reassure her that it’s okay and whatnot but then she says that she still really wants to hang out and go to bars and she usually shuts people out but she was glad I wouldn’t let her shut me out. Then I decided it would be a great time to ask her “is there anything left here?” and she smiled and said she doesn’t know. Didn’t talk for a week then she

    Desgrasiado
    Desgrasiado
    Participant
    May 29, 2019 at 8:20 am #201249

    Seems like shes confused and doesnt really knownwhat she wants. I would say give het space and let her come to you.

    npeterson
    npeterson
    Participant
    May 29, 2019 at 8:20 am #201248

    found someone else as there was a guy she apparently had some kind of history with all over her instagram and she would reply with some heart faces or lots of love kind of stuff. Was I too slow or too nice? She kept saying that I was way too nice to her and that I’m the “sweetest thing” (that made me think uh-oh). A lot of the time before we stopped talking recently she would hit me up and talk about work and what I was doing, thanking me again for a bottle of tequila i bought her one time, stuff like that. Sorry this is so long and all over the damn place but this is the first time I’ve talked about it and I’ve been pretty tore up over her because of how great everything was with her. So now I guess I’m just stuck wondering whether or not I should hang on and keep trying to text her or if I should just cut my losses here and let the cut heal up for a bit? I appreciate any advice

    npeterson
    npeterson
    Participant
    May 29, 2019 at 8:20 am #201247

    hit me up saying she was finally quitting (we both hated that job). I suggested we go to a bar and celebrate, and after a week we went to a more upscale place compared to our usual dive bar. Had a good normal person talk, walked her out to her car and said goodbye then we didnt talk for about two weeks until i hit her up recently and that fizzled out in three messages. Now, a little more context and questions. I am really respectful to girls when I’m first feeling them out and I usually take things slower when I date someone. Anyway, from the time we first talked to the end I’d say it was 4 months-ish. Didn’t kiss her until the third date because the third wheel made me feel awkward. Never got more than a kiss, but I didn’t really push that as I figured it would come eventually. I also showed a little desperation at certain times due to a combination of anxiety about the situation and alcohol-impaired texting, a double text with question marks or something. I just don’t know if she

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 29, 2019 at 11:58 am #201298

    “She kept saying that I was {way too nice to her} and that I’m the “sweetest thing”
    “I’d say it was 4 months-ish”
    “Never got more than a kiss, but I didn’t really push that as I figured it would come eventually.”
    “I’m just stuck wondering whether or not I should hang on and keep trying to text her or if I should just cut my losses..”
    MOVE ON!

    Being told “you’re way too nice” is NOT a compliment!
    You basically put her up on a pedestal. {This made her feel uncomfortable.}
    Her parents, siblings, and best friends don’t treat her like that.
    This is why “nice guys” don’t get laid!

    During the 4 months; How many times did she buy you drinks/ treat you to ice cream? or show up at your job?
    When you quit your previous job did she offer to take you out to celebrate? Did she send you a bottle of tequila?
    I’m going to go out on a limb and say; Hell No! You got no heart face msgs!
    She probably drank the tequila with a guy she WAS hooking up with.
    This was a (one way) “situationship”. She was NEVER really into YOU! Don’t look back!