Confused about her motives/thoughts

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Confused about her motives/thoughts

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2018 at 1:17 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Ghostee1
    Ghostee1
    Participant
    November 21, 2018 at 9:12 pm #189684
    Confused about her motives/thoughts

    This is a distance dating thousand miles away.

    I met this girl 6 years ago when travelling. I got her number for messaging apps. We been keeping in touch for the 1st year. We kinda like each other without expressing it out with the work “i like”. After 1st year, I make the biggest regretful sin by abandoning her when she needed me most for life advise due to I am felling for her too fast and it’s so distance and my current condition does not allow me to do so. So i stop contacting her for 4 years but I do check her out in her social app profile to see if shes OK quietly. I thought I can forget her or tone down my feelings for her but I miss her even more. On the 6th year, i decided to give a wink to her for the very first time after 4 years of silence. I failed to tone down my feelings for her and make a bold move to to message her. I dont care anymore about distance obstacles, there must be a way.

    continued…

    Ghostee1
    Ghostee1
    Participant
    November 21, 2018 at 9:22 pm #189685

    she replied me after an hour. we started quite good in conversation and I finally expressed my feelings for her and her reply was quite welcoming as in “if i dont like you, i wouldnt have been chatting with you now”. We kept chatting about other stuffs and also intimate things like things I wish to do with her all along if we are together. The response is positive. She even initiated video call first before I can, everything looks welcoming and Here comes the not so good part,

    after 2 days , the following days till now, her respinse was short and brief when i message her. i keep it cool for few days and i try again, it is still the same. once in a while i get a wink from her response when i say i miss her. a welcoming wink. however shes not really into talk with me. in brief, its kind of cold treatment from her side when i try to text her, its like a different person from the first 2 days and very rare she does say “you finally miss me”

    i am confused now on what shes up to with

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    November 22, 2018 at 3:43 pm #189699

    If you have to “figure out” someone it usually means they’re not “into” you.

    Truthfully it’s unlikely this “situationship” was ever going to evolve into a relationship.
    You haven’t been together in person for 6 years and even then it wasn’t with the intent of being a “couple”
    When there is no “light at the end of tunnel” whereby someone plans on relocating LDR couples usually drift apart.

    While you have begun to {romanticize the obstacle of being long distance} she is being practical.
    Essentially she is keeping her options open by dating guys who actually live in her area.
    You’re not offering any her reason to believe this “budding association” she has with you will amount to anything serious.

    Right now it’s just two friends flirting with one another. In the mean time you too should be keeping your options open.
    That means date other women and not become overly emotionally invested in her.
    Remember you’re NOT in a relationship and have no right to make any demands.

    Ghostee1
    Ghostee1
    Participant
    November 26, 2018 at 8:22 am #189686

    Lastly, shes a young and hard working person trying to make a living and taking care of her small little brother without parents by her side.
    She told me shes not married and not having any bf at all when i asked her. But i never know if its true. All my female friends i ask assume she has within 4 years from a girl perspective. Shes knows alot about my stuff in here and i only know as much as she can tell me only. She has plenty of friends now compared ton6 years ago. Colleagues. We donshare some intimacy before when infirst met her 6 years ago, she told me recently she had no idea why she did that stupid things 6 years ago but she said it is fate that brought us to know each other. Shetold me she believes that we will have a new beginning this time and theres always a way to get together if i am willing to. Yes, i told her its hard for me to get together with her even if i want it due to distance but she comfort me instead that theres a way. Should i trust her after i abandoned her?

    weldon25
    weldon25
    Participant
    November 28, 2018 at 5:33 am #190025

    Just find another girl. This does not seem to be going anywhere