Confused by this girl….again…advice please!


Confused by this girl….again…advice please!

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    March 19, 2015 at 5:21 pm #75691
    Confused by this girl….again…advice please!

    Last weekend, i went on date with a girl who i have an extremely huge crush on. Things went great, we had a steady conversation, great body language, throughout the night she gave me little smiles, and even mentioned doing something again before the night was even over. Around the later portion of the date, she got a call from her mother (who was watching her son), saying that her son was sick, so we had to end the date early. Despite her son being sick, she invited me in where i talked with her mother for a while and even made her son giggle and laugh.When the date ended, i was surprised it ended without a kiss, but didnt think too much of it. When i didnt hear from her the next few days, i thought for sure nothing more would come of it, until midway through the week she texted me bright and early in the morning. Basically just recapping conversation about things we talked about on our date, and then i made her laugh a few times. The next morning, i texted her back at the same time,

    March 19, 2015 at 5:21 pm #75692

    and the same type of conversation happened, only i flirted a bit with her, but no talks of making plans. Another day passed with no conversation, then this weekend she texted me saying that she was at a work function where she knew nobody and that she wished i was there so she didnt feel so awkward. I guess this is where i start getting confused. Im not sure if shes talking to me as a buddy or someone who truly wants to see me again. I just feel that if she really wanted to see me, she would make plans with me like she did before, or at least ask when she can see me again. My friends have told me that in the past that she has always been the type to chase after guys that show her zero interest, and then dump the guys that show interest. This is my reasoning for laying back and letting her initiate everything. I know your advice to me will probably be to avoid games and just tell her how i feel, but i really like this girl and don’t want to screw anything up, as i feel i really haven’t

    March 19, 2015 at 8:26 pm #75701

    It sounds to me like she likes the attention, is fickle or gets bored easily. I know you don’t want to hear it, but there’s no way of really knowing for sure what’s going through her mind unless you approach her and ask her what her intentions are. You don’t have to ask her directly, but you could say start up a conversation about past relationships. I know it’s not great advice to bring that subject up, especially when you’re just beginning to get to know someone, but it could lead to the “So what are you looking for now? question. As in, is she looking for a relationship/just looking to have fun/wants something serious. Or you could always test your friends’ theories- Show interest and see what happens. If she suddenly backs off once you do, you have your answer. Someone who is truly into someone will want them around whether or not they’re the one doing more of the chasing or not. Good luck!

    March 19, 2015 at 10:04 pm #75702

    Be scarcely available!

    If you text her every five minutes, you are going to freak her out. Make plans for this weekend and tell her your plans, like “Hey I’m going to watch a movie, go to a game, drink a cup of coffee, whatever” let her know that she is welcome to join you, if she can’t she will tell you her reasons, you could give her some alternatives or maybe she will offer you some options.

    Do it casually as you will with an old friend, you know the friendship is still there whether your friend joins you or not in your plans.

    Another way to freak her out is telling immediately that you have a crush on her, needy guys do that all the time and end alone. And you don’t want that.

    Next time she is tells you she would like you to be with her, take action tell her that you can visit her because you are close to the place -even if you are not- seize the opportunities!!!

    Good luck.

    March 20, 2015 at 8:44 am #75693

    yet. A day later i decided that i would just take matters into my own hands and ask her out. She said yes, and that she would text me as soon as she got off of work. She finally texted me later than expected and said that she got sick at work, and that she went home early. No plans were discussed about rescheduling on her part, and i just kind of nonchalantly answered her back saying “feel better”. I have not heard from her now in 3 days and am confused as ever on what i should do. i dont want to seem to needy for sure, but she is making me crazy. please help 🙁

    March 20, 2015 at 4:35 pm #75762

    I think at this point you need to give it a rest for a week or so and then try one more time to initiate conversation if she doesn’t reach out to you first. If you guys are able to make plans that hold up then great, but if not unfortunately it might be time to write her off…