Confused by what she is thinking


Confused by what she is thinking

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    August 7, 2018 at 10:34 am #180960
    Confused by what she is thinking

    I will try to make this short. I met a girl through mutual friends back in March and I liked her from the start, she mentioned to a friend of mine that she thought I was nice without him asking anything about me. We hung out in a group in April and I spent most of the night talking with her and it went really well. I asked her out to dinner a few weeks later and she told me that she was going through a breakup with a guy she was in a long distance relationship with and that she was not ready to date anyone but that she wouldn’t be opposed to it once she had things straightened out. From that point we hung out a few more times but never alone and we text every now and then. Last weekend I saw her and we talked most of the night and I was telling a story of how I once took a girl on a date and she ordered garlic wings which she thought was funny. She asked me what I would do if she ordered the same thing on our first date so I took this as a sign that she wanted me to ask her out again.

    August 7, 2018 at 10:38 am #180962

    So I said to her that I would take her to a place where wings aren’t on the menu. Her reply was awww that’s so sweet or something along those lines and how she did like wings but agreed not a good idea for a first date. So I said I know exactly the place I would take you if you and she said please don’t do this to me I am still not ready to date anyone. I have a feeling deep down that she likes me but I have no clue what to think here. Is she just saying this because she is trying to be nice and not hurt me, or is she really not ready? From what I have heard from other people her last relationship was not a very good one. Any help would be great. Thanks

    August 7, 2018 at 6:06 pm #181041

    I suspect she’s brushing you off without wanting to be rude.

    Clue #1
    “she mentioned to a friend of mine that she thought I was {nice}” that’s a far cry from saying you’re “cute” or “hot”.
    Being “nice” is rarely the #1 trait that (romantically attracts) a woman to a man or vice versa.

    Clue # 2
    “I am still not ready to date anyone.”

    You met her in March and now it’s August (5 months) and she’s not ready to have dinner with a guy?
    It’s not as if you proposed to her or gave her your letterman’s jacket to wear!
    A date is not a “relationship”!

    Two people going out on a first date don’t have to have made a “commitment” to one another.
    It’s an opportunity for two people to spend some time alone getting to know each other better.
    Generally speaking if both people have a great time they decide to go out again and things evolve over time.

    Clue #3
    “her last relationship was not a very good one.”
    Doesn’t sound like she’s attracted to “nice guys”.
    May still be in a bad boy phase!