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almakic88ParticipantOctober 23, 2019 at 11:29 am #223866
I met a guy at my gym and he seems nice. We’ve been talking online, but I am confused about him. He told me early on that he has a girlfriend but is very attracted to me. But in the last 3 months, I’ve never seen evidence of a girl, and he only seems to bring her up very suddenly out of nowhere when I mention other guys. He sends me photos of himself and his new haircuts and asks what I think, sends me photos of myself and says how pretty I am, flirts hardcore, but then will suddenly bring up a girl when I talk about another guy. I made a joke about this coffee mug that said “serial killers and chill” (we both love murder mysteries) and he asked me “is that what you’re into?” i.e. ‘chilling’ (hooking up) as if suddenly scoping if I’m the kind of girl to randomly hook up with guys. I don’t really know what this guy’s deal is…does he likely have a girl? Or is she just a made-up story because he’s insecure about something? What’s his intention with me?
franktParticipantOctober 27, 2019 at 10:59 pm #224058
I am assuming that you two have not hung out together or exchanged phone numbers. I am assuming all talk is online or at the gym.
It’s possible he ‘does’ have a girlfriend. You don’t see “evidence” of a girlfriend because you two seem to be talking only online or at the gym. The two places where you would not “see” her.
It’s also possible that he does ‘not’ have a girlfriend. In that case, he could be using a fake girlfriend to keep a distance between you two.
He said he is very attracted to you and says you are pretty. That is a little flirty. I would think that after 3 months, things would be beyond that stage.
Something is holding him back (a current girlfriend or commitment issues or emotionally unavailable or past breakups).
If he has a girlfriend like he says he does, it seems strange he would ask YOU for your opining on his haircuts & talking online with you. That makes me wonder if his “girlfriend” knows he is doing those two things.
I cannot say for certain if he has a girlfriend or not. Time will only tell. Maybe keep chatting with him and see where it leads. I would not spend a lot of time chasing. When someone is available & interested, there are no questions.
almakic88ParticipantOctober 28, 2019 at 2:18 am #224061
Hi! thanks for replying. Yes, I certainly think it’s odd too that he shows me photos of his haircuts and things. Not only that but he’s sent me at least 3 photos of his haircuts asking how I like them. He’s also sent me photos of myself that he liked and told me how pretty I looked. I too have wondered if his ‘girlfriend’ knows about how much he talks to me and how flirty he is with me (if he has one). We used to write each other regularly and I would initiate often just to say hey or what’s up. I’ve stopped now and pulled away because honestly I am not sure what’s going on anymore and I think pulling back could be the best thing to do right now. As you said, no use in chasing too much and 3 months have gone by so I feel like things should be beyond this stage. Something is definitely holding him back I just don’t know what. And I don’t want things to get even more confusing so I think pulling back is probably the best thing to do.
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