Confused if he likes me, just being nice, shy/insecure, etc

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Confused if he likes me, just being nice, shy/insecure, etc

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Kanga
    Kanga
    Participant
    April 8, 2018 at 2:01 pm #169900
    Confused if he likes me, just being nice, shy/insecure, etc

    Met online, texted a few days, he asked to meet me, things went well, we did sleep together (kind of awkward) but I’m not ashamed of it/nothing to do with this. Told him I’m glad we met and had a good time, he said he had fun. Since it’s been more me reaching out, he responds but I feel his replies are sort of vague and I can’t seem to tell if he is interested or just thinks I’m a cool girl. I’m afraid I’m coming off as more of a friend since I haven’t really been flirty? since and therefore maybe he’s unsure? I suggested getting together again, said he had plans this wkend so I suggested next wkend and he said sounds fun.

    Am I sending him mixed messages? Is he just not really interested or perhaps insecure because of the awkwardness of (drunken) sex. I’m just not sure what to do or think overall. Feel there is potential but still early in getting to know someone but how to continue and not have it fade into nothing?

    PatrickStar
    PatrickStar
    Participant
    April 9, 2018 at 5:18 am #169917

    From my experience, the only sure way to proceed is to just be persistent. Continue inviting him out. If after some time you find that you are the only one initiating contact, then I think that it is safe to say he is not that interested. It may seem like too simple of an answer but that’s Ockham’s Razor for you.

    Kanga
    Kanga
    Participant
    April 10, 2018 at 8:41 am #169926

    …trying to find the balance in persistence. I havent reached out to him since Fri (almost 3 days now) he said he had family stuff going on this wkend when I hinted at getting together so I just thought id give things a break and see if he reaches out to me. Was “hoping” id have heard (text) from him and the fact that its been a few days now and nothing is making me feel/think I should just let it go . I go back and forth between wanting to just ask for a blunt: Would you like to see me again or not really interested vs: save face and let it go/see what happens (patience) if anything. I dont know how to take “sounds fun” (when I asked about getting together this coming weekend), I guess its better than sounds shitty but…sounds fun because I want to do that with you or Id do that in general. I know Im way overthinking this 🙁

    PatrickStar
    PatrickStar
    Participant
    April 12, 2018 at 9:09 am #170294

    Have you ever heard “The Waiting” by Tom Petty? lol Waiting is indeed very difficult. A week and a half is a long time. But you have to power through it. We need to see if he’ll blow off the date. But if you must reach out to him, then maybe tomorrow ask him how his family outing went. See if he gives you a BS story. If you smell bullshit, then you should directly ask his intentions. If not, then a few days before that weekend remind him about it and attempt to set up the agenda for the evening; time, place, activities, etc. If at that point, he cancels or “forgets” about it then cut him off and move on. In the interim, occupy time with a personal project. Hell, maybe even start looking for the next guy just in case this dude really isn’t interested.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    April 15, 2018 at 2:46 am #170586

    “Met online, texted a few days, he asked to meet me, things went well, we did sleep together…”
    There’s nothing wrong with having sex just because (you) want to have sex.
    However it’s tough to turn something into a “relationship” without creating a real “foundation” first.

    Odds are he still has an {active profile online} and is hooking up with other women.
    You didn’t mention either of your ages but most likely he’s not ready to “settle down”.

    At this point you’re not in a position to make any demands or be “blunt” with him without sounding like a “stalker”.
    One date does not make for an “exclusive relationship”! Stop waiting by the phone. He’s not your boyfriend!

    An old adage: “If you want me in your life. Put me there. I should not have to fight for a spot.” – Anonymous
    If he wanted to go out with you {he’d ask you out again}. In the mean time go out on dates with other guys.
    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine. Move on!

    Jason93
    Jason93
    Participant
    April 15, 2018 at 10:04 pm #170604

    To me it sounds like he’s interested in something casual. You’re reaching out to him, as opposed to him reaching out to you, which is telling to me. He probably is willing to see you again because there’s a good chance you’ll sleep with him but he may not be interested in a relationship per se. The next time you see him, ask him what he’s looking for and go from there.

    mysteriouseyes9
    mysteriouseyes9
    Participant
    April 16, 2018 at 10:33 pm #170844

    It sounds like he is looking for something casual and fun. Maybe he doesn’t want to get attached to anyone right now. You should definitely ask him what he’s looking for.